I don't know whether it's due to my being adopted, my upbringing, years of C-PTSD, or autistic tendencies (or all of those), but I realize that I'm not cut out for socialization. I don't have the coping skills to deal with any type of conflict that involves emotion, and to be honest, I don't understand the other side of things either, like love or relationships of any kind beyond acquaintances.
I don't get it, and I don't have the energy to keep trying. I'm just too tired to care anymore, I give up. I think I'll be better off if I stop trying to meet people/make friends; I've been trying all my life & have nothing to show for it but trauma and confusion. I think I'll just hide away in my little private world, in this house, where I can't hurt anyone, and no one can hurt me. It's a win-win.
4:37 p.m. - 2020-11-12
Recent entries:
More negative than positive - 2020-12-02
Busy work - 2020-11-28
Money well spent. - 2020-11-27
Unusually pleasant holiday - 2020-11-26
Physical isolation - 2020-11-25
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
comebacktome
silver4
elusive-you
linguafranca
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
life-my-way
misfitstray
fairybones
annanotbob2
swordfern
kelsi
ahopeinhell
stepfordtart