I watched a couple more W1m H0f videos today & some of the things he said clicked in my mind. I've been confused by my sudden mood changes for years - recently I've come to realize I'm an empath and that others' moods/energies can affect my own mood without my realizing it. But these mood swings also happen at home, by myself, so it didn't totally fit.
What he was getting at in the videos I watched today was that inflammation is the root cause of (most) every disease we have, including mental illnesses. Inflammation, caused by acidity of the blood/body, can/does change the chemistry of the body, and not just the body, but the brain too. It can affect the levels of seratonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, etc. in the brain, which can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, ptsd, etc. That was a revelation to me.
What I see now is that, if my lifestyle tends towards habits that affect my blood chemistry negatively, this could be the cause of my depression showing up 'out of the blue'. If this is the case, that would mean that it's strictly a chemical imbalance, and not a mentality issue as I've believed it to be for the last several years. If it's chemistry, it can be changed. As W1m says, "We are the alchemists of our own bodies!".
I don't know if this revelation will be helpful, or if it will stick with me over time, but for now, it gives me a path; a methodical way to approach my 'condition'. If/when I start to struggle, or have issues with irritation/frustration/sadness/apathy, I can take 15-20 minutes & change my chemistry through the breathing method & see if that can affect/cut short the negativity.
At a minimum, it will be an interesting experiment. At best, it may be a solution, which is something I've never expected to be possible. I've assumed that this is just me & I'll always be this way. That *may* be true, but also... it might not be.
p.s. Was just thinking... I've been using alcohol as a crutch all these years, believing it was a way to help myself through the worst of my depression; to shut off my mind and/or disassociate myself from those feelings. If what I'm thinking above is true, it was never a crutch, but rather a big possible cause of my depression having lingered so long. Alcohol is physically stress-inducing, and will definitely cause systemic inflammation. Something else to consider.
7:54 p.m. - 2019-05-04
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