It's almost stupid, the way I can bounce back & forth between positive and negative thoughts so quickly.
I'm tired of feeling like there's no point to life. I'm tired of always coming back to this feeling of hopelessness. I'm tired of the idea that 'happiness is a choice'. I'm tired of knowing that there are so many things a person can do in this world, but being unable to see myself doing any of them and therefore, not doing anything.
I've been sitting in this house for the last several hours trying to think of something to do that I might enjoy. For the few things that I've come up with, I've also come up with reasons why those things are nothing but time- and resource-wasters, so why bother? I don't have my cycle now, but even if I did, so what? All going out for a ride would do would be killing time, sitting somewhere other than my house. I'm tired of reading, I'm tired of the web, I'm tired of solitude, I'm tired of me...
Basically, I'm just tired.
2:19 p.m. - 2019-05-05
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