Second day in a row with no texts from KW. Overall I feel relieved, but a small part of me wonders if she's alright, whether she's moving ahead with her treatment, etc. I definitely won't be contacting her, but I sort of hope that, once she gets her shit together months down the road, she'll get in touch & let me know how she's doing. Might not be smart, but it's alright to feel that way, I guess.
I rearranged my bedroom this past weekend, and I really like it. It's always nice to make a change, even if it's a little one, especially after a rough patch. Hell, the last two nights, I actually was looking forward to going to bed, which has typically been something I avoid, and only do out of necessity. Spent most of the day Saturday deep-cleaning the house by rooms; kitchen, living room, bedroom. Next weekend is the bathroom & the spare room, then I have to think about cleaning/straightening both the basement & the attic area upstairs & throwing out a lot of stuff. I've been considering selling the place this fall, but realized there are too many little things that need to be finished before I can put it up for sale. I'm going to spend this winter addressing those things, and then in the spring I'll talk to my realtor about putting it on the market. Not only will I have those little things addressed, but it'll also give me a chance to save up more money towards a downpayment.
...
You know, it's funny how some people/relationships can be almost like a drug - I'm truly glad to be out of the situation I was in (knock on wood), but I find myself really missing all the attention, the compliments, the ego boost, the physical affirmation I got from her. I hope that goes away soon, because I miss it, and it makes me sad.
1:08 p.m. - 2014-10-14
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