You know, when I don't interact with my mother for a while, I feel pretty good. She left me a message today asking about the holidays.I've been feeling pretty positive, and thought I could handle talking to her. I was wrong. She has this way of trying to guilt me into doing whatever it is she wants. I can give her an answer 4-5 times (as I did tonight), and it's like she intentionally ignores me & keeps asking me to do [whatever it is she wants - this time it was getting together this weekend with my g'ma & ma's friends]. (We've already made plans for my g'ma's b-day next Sunday.) I had to explain it to her again, that it's rude/disrespectful to ignore/dismiss what I say (she's done this for years, and I've called her out on it several times in the past). Once I said that, she asked me what my answer was about [this weekend], and I told her that if she didn't listen the first 4 times, I wasn't going to tell her again. She got mad at me, and started rambling about how she couldn't help it if *she* was "so full of love & feelings, (and she stressed the *she*, implying that I was the opposite, and that I didn't care; she actually caught herself saying that at one point). I told her that I understand she feels that way, but should respect that I have different feelings. She told me she couldn't understand that. Seriously? Wtf am I supposed to do with that? Anyway, I finally got her to accept that I would get back to her about it, which was what I told her originally. At the time, I was still considering going, but after all this, I'm not going to bother - I'll be seeing them next Sunday anyway.
After reading back through this, I feel like I'm being petty, or over-reacting. I feel like I should try to be more understanding, but how many decades can I be patient when being ignored/dismissed? I don't have any desire to keep people in my life who don't respect me, family or not. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, that I should be more dedicated to family, etc. I can take it...
12:08 a.m. - 2013-12-20
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