Doctor said if I thought it was helping a bit, I could up my meds to double after a week or so (since I started on the lowest dosage) & see how I feel, so I did. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling, but it's not much different, emotionally, than when I get over things on my own. Two kind of strange things though (on the positive side) - 1) I seem to be seeing more clearly (literally). Colors seem a bit brighter, things seem a bit more in focus/I'm seeing more detail when I look at things. 2) My back really isn't hurting much at all anymore, and I find myself standing/walking straighter, which is somewhat of a relief.
On the negative side, though, I'm finding it really hard to get motivated to do things I need to be doing around the house. Still doesn't seem to be a big reason to do anything. I haven't worked on my car in a week or so, haven't cleaned the house at all, haven't been working out (although I did go running this morning before work - felt I had to - my weight is getting high again, especially considering I haven't been lifting, which means that extra weight is all fat. Ugh.) I haven't even played guitar recently, and I usually get that thing out & play at least a few songs every day or two. I'm going to give this stuff another week or two & if it doesn't get better, I'm going to stop taking it.
I never did like medicine, but at this point, I'm kind of willing to try anything to get out of this rut. I'll maybe try a couple more, but if they don't help, I'll never try them again.
Man, I'm tired of not being able to gain control over this...
10:35 a.m. - 2010-11-09
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