So by Wednesday, I'd decided to write off the entire week; no workouts, no ambitious goals, no 'anything'. I'm feeling very apathetic, lethargic, and just tired. Still having trouble falling asleep, but in a weird change, I'm now having a really hard time waking up in the morning, and I'm feeling constantly tired all day long. I've been off the supplements for a month now, I think, and I'm sure it has something to do with my body getting back to whatever its 'normal' is, which likely means that I do have some sort of endocrine issue.
Also, by Wednesday, I thought I was over the need for drinks (didn't go out that night or Thursday), but am really feeling like I should/need to tonight, and maybe this weekend. I'm feeling really lonely and isolated, and nothing seems to be helping that. I turned off my dating apps at the beginning of the month (as the lack of suitable prospects is wholly discouraging), but that's making me feel even more alone. To top it off, the one little ego boost I've been getting occasionally from the cute girl at the coffee shop will be ending soon, as she'll be leaving for college at the end of the month.
As an aside, I had a surprisingly negative reaction to something I read the other day, and now I'm struggling with why, what it means, and how I should handle it. I may just go back to drinking, at least until I get some blood work done to see what's up with my body chemistry. That likely can't happen for another couplefew weeks at least, though.
Overall, this last month or so has sucked, and it's really hard to imagine it getting any better.
4:59 p.m. - 2023-08-11
Recent entries:
すべてのことを少しだけ - 2023-08-18
Unintentional persistance. - 2023-08-16
A bit of progress? - 2023-08-14
Missing Sarah. - 2023-08-11
The negativity is strong tonight. - 2023-08-11
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email
Random
others:
strawberrri
narcissa
dangerspouse
alethia
bantenhut
jimbostaxi
warpednormal
simeons-twin
silver4
loveherwell
swordfern
misfitstray
elusive-you
comebacktome
linguafranca
catsoul
life-my-way
fairybones
annanotbob2
ahopeinhell
kelsi
stepfordtart