All day I've been berating myself about over-reacting to the car thing this weekend, but I keep reminding myself that my reaction had very little to do with that. It was based on the primary issues I've been having for years - not understanding others, not having anyone to turn to when I'm feeling down, feeling alone, apart, not truly heard, seen, or understood.
Maybe I'm still alone because I haven't learned how to cope with things on my own yet, so I'm not ready to meet someone? Maybe it's self-protection from the possibility of even worse fallout, should I get into another relationship that eventually 'goes south' again; a sign that I'm not ready for that situation?
On the other hand, maybe I never will be, and that has nothing to do with why I'm still alone. Maybe the lesson I need to learn is that I just have to accept being on my own from now on; maybe then things will change for the better? And if not, I guess I'll have been prepared for that.
Still, a life without close friends or a special someone seems like a terrible way to spend one's remaining years.
Cold Shower: Skipped
Sleep Quality Last Night (10=best): 5
Cold Shower: 10 min @ 65°F/18.3°C
Sleep Quality Last Night (10=best): 5
Cold Shower: 10 min @ 65°F/18.3°C
Sleep Quality Last Night (10=best): 5
6:43 p.m. - 2019-08-19
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