One of the things that irritates me about myself is that I don't seem to be able to do more than one big thing at a time. For example, I've been trying to get back into lifting, but since I started making progress on the Dodge, it's sort of taken over & I now I haven't worked out in well over a week, maybe only once in 2 weeks? I just can't split my focus enough. I read somewhere that it's referred to as "hyper-focus" and relates to ADHD in adults. Most of the day at work this week, I've been looking for rims for the car. Most of my evenings, I've been doing the same, looking for options. When I ran out of options, I'd try to find new ones, and when I eliminated those, I'd find new ones again, etc. I've even skipped dinner several nights (which I guess doesn't hurt me, as I'm still pretty much a fat-ass - at least my eating less coincides with my working out less; hopefully it balances).
Of course, with the lack of exercise, I've been tempted to go out a bit more often. I don't know what to do about that anymore either. I can go out, have a couplefew beers & be around people, or I can hide in my house & watch stupid, mindless programming & waste my life away (which not-coincidentally, is the same thing I'm doing at the bar having a couplefew beers).
It always comes back to this, for me; what is the point in anything I do in life, without having someone with whom to share it? I know some people can be truly happy alone, they have good friends, a social scene, support, interaction, etc. I have bar-strangers and bar-friends in my daily social circle. Honestly, who really wants that? I'm sure someone somewhere does, but it ain't me. Sometimes I just find this entire life pointless, and stupid, and a waste of time.
And yet, I'm still working on the stupid car, aren't I? *rollseyes*
7:25 p.m. - 2017-06-15
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