GRJ had her surgery this past Thursday & has been at home slowly recovering since. She made a point of keeping me informed about everything during the process, which I was happy about. She texted me on Sunday & asked if I wanted to come up & hang out for a bit, and I didn't have anything going on, so I did (turns out I'm the only one aside from her mother that she's seen since last Thursday, by choice). We talked for a bit, and then she wanted me to look at her car battery to see if I could maybe jump-start it because she was having some trouble with it. We tried to start the car 1st & I realized the battery was pretty much toast, so we took the money I brought her (for her hospital bill fundraiser-thing) & went to the parts store to pick up a battery & a socket. I had to pull quite a bit apart, because the battery was tucked under a bunch of electronics & a stabilizer strut, but we finally got it replaced & the van started right up! I was glad to get it working because she had errands to run the next day & I didn't want to see her call a mechanic & waste a bunch of money on it. (She texted me an hour ago & said the van worked great today, cool!)
Afterwards, I cleaned up a bit & she decided she had a craving for donuts, so we headed up to the store, picked some up & headed back. She made some coffee & we sat & snacked & talked some more. I always enjoy talking with her, but it makes me a little sad that every time we end up talking about her guy, it's always the same story. Without going into detail, he's very self-centered and immature, as well as being an alcoholic. I honestly don't know why she tolerates him, but my guess is that she'd rather have someone (anyone) than be completely on her own. At least, that's the impression I get.
She did tell me that she's decided she'll never live with, or marry this guy, which is a relief. We talked quite a bit about getting older & how difficult dating is... well, not dating, but taking the chance to open up to someone new when 90% of the people you meet turn out to be assholes. We both kind of agree it's not worth it, but the alternative is to never find anyone, and we both do want to grow old with someone. There was never any mention of us dating again, but she did say something that surprised me, but wasn't very far out at all - she was talking to her ma about ending up alone & said that she really only has maybe two true friends, and that in all likelihood, she & I would end up growing old alone together (paraphrased, because I can't remember her exact words).
I agreed with her right away, but later realized that, with our track records, she's actually probably right. Neither of us will likely find anyone, we'll both be jaded and single, and probably end up in some kind of platonic roommate situation when we retire or something! lol It's kind of like another friend of mine & I said years ago - if we didn't find anyone by the time we reached a certain age, we'd just get together & live out our lives as a couple. (A couple of what, I have no idea! She's since found someone & gotten married, so that's right out!) In a way, it was kind of nice to know she still thinks of me in that positive a light, and I do think it could be possible. It wouldn't be a true romantic love, but more of a really great friendship, which isn't the worst thing that could happen, right?
Still, with as much difficulty as I have, and as unlikely as it is that I might actually meet someone, I can't help but want the whole package - I really am a romantic at heart, and that's how I'd like to imagine my life ending up; an epic love story, filled with travel, exploration, new hobbies, personal growth, mutual support (and of course, mind-blowing sex! lol).
Yeah, I know... I've got a better chance of winning the lottery & I don't even play. Still, I can dream.
Oh, and this respiratory infection can just fuck right off any time now...
7:53 p.m. - 2017-01-23
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
elusive-you
lust-
comebacktome
ahopeinhell
silver4
kelsi
stepfordtart