I felt that I had a responsibility to vote today, but even walking in the door to do so this morning, I started to feel... I don't know, anxious? Nauseated? I almost turned around and left. This is the 1st time since I've been able to vote, that I didn't vote my conscience; I voted to try to prevent a psychopath from gaining the highest office in the nation. I even voted a straight-party ticket, because without a democratic majority, she'll never get anything done because of all the stone-walling republicans in office.
Even typing this, I feel a bit sick to my stomach. I can't even bring myself to put my "I voted" sticker on, because, well, I'm honestly embarrassed about the whole process, including my choices. I'm embarrassed to have been a participant in this fucking farce, this mockery of our political system.
What's just as bad to me, is learning in the last several days that some of the people I considered friends, are voting for trump (I refuse to capitalize his name). There are so many reasons not to; valid, political reasons, not least of which is the fact that he has absolutely ZERO work experience to warrant his election. I mean, would you hire a bank teller to engineer your skyscraper? Would you hire a factory worker to do your corporate taxes?
Even aside from those reasons, I can't believe how many people simply dismiss his racism, misogyny, his sexual predatory nature, (whether or not he actually did any of it), his support of physical violence (offering to pay people's legal fees for assault at his rallies), and especially his condoning god-damned war crimes by stating that not only should we go after terrorists and kill them, we should also kill their wives/children/families!
I could go on for paragraphs more, but what it comes down to for me is that, anyone who dismisses those things is just as guilty of them as he is, by their inaction, their failure to acknowledge and condemn them; to me, if you don't speak up against these things, you're condoning them, and anyone who condones these attitudes, cannot and will not be my friend. At this point, I don't even want to look at these people, they make me sick. This is difficult, because I'm describing a lot of people i work with and have to interact with. I've been feeling angry and depressed and frustrated and helpless, and it sucks.
And to top it off, I made sure to check that here in this state, we are not required to have a photo ID in order to vote - if we don't have one, we just have to sign an affidavit. But guess what? The first thing the people sasy to me when I walk up to the desk this morning is "You're required to have a photo ID". I actually corrected them and said that's not true, but they said it is. Then they said, "If you don't have one, you can fill out the back of this form", and I'm thinking, 'then I was right and you're *not* required to have one, so stop telling people it's *required* you fuckers!', but as I was already entirely pissed off at the whole process, I just let it drop. I wish I had argued with them more, because it just shows how polling places everywhere are trying to prevent people from asserting their right to vote, and it makes me sick. This whole election cycle has made me sick.
And just to top it off, my g'ma is going into assisted living this Saturday, which means she won't be able to be in her home when she passes, like she's always wanted. The family will soon be auctioning off all of her stuff, then selling the house to pay for her care, which is (a reasonable??) $4200 a month. I'm disgusted with this too, not just because of the cost, but because she's being forced to live the rest of her life in the equivalent of a hotel room, rather than the place that's been her home for 60+ years, the place where her husband (whom she married at 18 - she's 97 now)passed away, and where she wanted to spend her last days, her last few moments, before joining him.
How can anyone who's eyes are open, be happy in a world like this?
12:01 p.m. - 2016-11-08
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