I really wanted to go out & do something tonight, but 1) there are no bands playing that I know, or that I'd care to hear, 2) I started taking my supplements so I can't drink for the next month, maybe two, depending on how I decide to do it, 3) I have no friends who'd want to hang out in ways that don't involve a bar/drinking. Well, Viv & I were supposed to grab lunch today after her work, but her babysitter fell thru, so that didn't happen.
I got a strongman-style workout in this morning at home, then I cooked. seven steaks (4 of one kind, 3 of another) three chicken breasts, and a homemade interpretation of one of the frozen pasta meals I dig. Turned out pretty well, actually! Anyway, once I was done cooking (and eating lunch) (maybe 1p?) I started trying to figure out what I could do today. As I couldn't come up with anything, I sat & watched old episodes of 'Leverage'. I sat & watched so many that I ended up fixing dinner & watching more while I ate. It's now almost 9p, and it looks like I'm going to watch even more, then go to bed.
It's ridiculous to me, just how empty my life is. I keep feeling tempted to withdraw from society again & see if anyone would bother to contact me (present company excluded, of course), but i don't want to let my 'open mic' nerves come back. Although I haven't played in a couplefew weeks, I think? and I'm a bit nervous about getting back to it already.
I really wish that I didn't have to live my life alone. I wish more that I knew how to change it.
If anyone feels like talking/IMing this weekend, leave me a note or send me an email - you'll find it by hovering over the 'Contact' link on my journal page. I know it's unlikely, but it's all I can think to do...
8:48 p.m. - 2016-04-02
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