Do you know what I miss the most (next to the love and respect of an amazing woman)? The soft, velvet blankets of inebriation. I'm thankful I can take it or leave it, but nights like tonight, I feel like I could crawl into a bottle and not come out for a hundred years. At the moment,that's entirely what I want to do. Obviously in the morning it'll all be different, but...
It all seems so hopeless to me. It's a "Catch 22" - I'll never attract someone as long as I keep externally manifesting this deep-seated loneliness/unhappiness, but until I meet someone, I'll never get rid of the soul crushing emptiness that prevents me from enjoying life and attracting someone.
What's a true-hearted, extremely introverted gentleman to do? Tonight, it feels like the only option is to just grow old & die alone. Or maybe not grow old. I don't want to be sad anymore. Someone give me a hug...
Oh yeah, the only people who give a shit are miles away. If they actually do give a shit, which my heart usually refuses to believe in spite of the evidence.
You know what's really shitty? When the only lifeline you have is ghostly, far-away internet friends.
Thank you for giving a shit about me.
12:47 a.m. - 2015-09-02
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