Woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Took four ibuprofen, but it remained. Finally decided to go get some lunch, so I headed to the pub. Got to talk to one of my waitresses for a bit, which was really nice. The meal was very unsatisfying, and it did nothing to help my headache. Talking to her made me start thinking though - the closest thing I have to a romantic relationship is pretend flirting with cute waitresses, which is fine, I guess, in the absence of something more meaningful. This, of course, got me thinking about "meaningful", what it means, why we're all here, why am *I* here...
I'm not discontent, I'm not sad, but I realized something today. Although I'm fully capable of living the rest of my life the way it is now, my heart is desperately lonely. I was going to say I want to share my life with someone special, but that's not quite true. I feel like I *need* to. None of this, any of the busy work I do, holds any meaning for me without being able to share it with someone.
4:20 p.m. - 2014-02-22
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