1) Stepfie, I don't lift anywhere near what I assume most of the images you found for "farmer's walk handles" showed. I did take a video, however, and once I can find a cable to download it off my camera, I'll post a link so everyone can see (not that anyone besides you really cares). The handles I made weigh in at 23.4#, which is why the weights I recorded seem so odd. I decided to warm up and then max my "pick" (basically a dead lift, just standing up with them), so I started @ 113.4# (per hand) X 8 reps, then jumped to 163.4#/each for 1 rep (that's when my grip gave out - 326.8# deadlift). Put on the lifting straps & continued on up. Tried 183.4# (recorded video), then 223.4# (recorded this successful lift also), then went for 243.4#, but either I went again too soon, or I hit my limit - I don't think it even came off the ground. Anyway, now I have something to shoot for, when next I try a max lift.
After the workout I went down to Huey's weekly show. Was a good night, lots of people, and at one point while I was talking to Huey, a gal came over and wanted to introduce *both* of us to "a table of women who want to meet you". I almost didn't go, because I was only on my 2nd beer, and I'm a socially awkward introverted misfit, but I did. We were introduced to a couple of cute girls... well one was cute, a bit exotic (Asian Indian), but the other was... well, I felt a similar thing when I met CC the first time. She was stunning! Honestly, she reminded me of CC a bit, which might be a part of it. Anyway, I stood there with Huey for about 5 minutes, with him doing most of the talking. I was fairly comfortable chiming in, but after a few minutes, he excused himself, and I was left standing there with the "wing-woman" who asked to introduce us, the Indian woman, and the stunner, and I proceeded to get awkward. I had no idea what to say to the other two, so I talked with the Wing-woman for a minute, and then, fortunately, my beer was gone and I had a valid reason to excuse myself. After getting another beer, do you think I went back to pick up where I left off? Fucking of course not! I wandered up front, talked briefly to an acquaintance of mine, walked to the front to check out the postings on the bulletin board, then walked back and sat at the bar, maybe 15 feet from where the ladies were sitting. Didn't say another word to them, and I eventually left after a half hour or so.
If I'd had a few more drinks, or a vicoden, or a xanax, I'd probably have been fine, and been able to converse for hours. As it was, the attraction I had towards the one girl effectively made me so self-conscious I froze. I always do this, too (with the obvious exception of CC, due to the fact that I could tell right away that she was interested as well). I need much more than five minutes to relax into a conversational group. I wish I knew how to change myself - I can't even begin to count how many opportunities I've likely missed because of my inherent introversion/shyness. It makes me sad.
On the positive side, maybe I'll run into them (her) again & maybe I'll have a chance to instigate another conversation. Whether I take it or not is another story. Why can't I be one of those overly self-confident guys who can talk to anyone, and can be direct and forward about their interest?
I feel like I'm destined to disappoint myself. (And, if it were as simple as "be more outgoing/forward" I wouldn't still be having this internal dialogue.) Sometimes it feels like the only reason I get up in the mornings is to see whether today is going to be any different than every day in the last couple of decades.
So far? It hasn't.
1:50 a.m. - 2013-07-25
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