So, did my last entry come across as being really negative/down? Honestly, as I was writing it, I was feeling very matter-of-fact about things, like what I'm talking about is just the way things are, no big deal. Maybe that's one of my issues? That I feel like my being closed off and emotionally locked up is just natural? It seems so normal to me, because I've been this way (aside from a few relationships) for longer than I can remember. I've really only been emotionally connected to a few women (and only deeply so with the first two), and since I've been out of single-digits, I can't even honestly say that I've felt close to any of my family (barring two somewhat distant relatives). To me, this isn't sad at all, it's just the way I am. But is it sad? I mean, should it be? How would you feel if one of your family members told you they felt this way? Is it really that uncommon? I ask because it's the only life I've ever known, and I have no idea. I do realize that it's not healthy, and sometimes, I miss, well... happiness, but it's still seemed much preferable to the anguish of loss. Hrmm... not really sure where to go with this from here, so I'll change topics.
I was on facespace last night and a friend of the Joker posted that she was in a serious car wreck yesterday - she had some sort of head trauma & from what I can gather, she's going to be in a medically induced coma for a few days as a precaution. It's really shitty, because she's been having such a rough time recently, but had started to make some significant changes that would have brought about some positive changes in her life. I'm so sad for her, and I've been trying to send out all the healing energy I can. If you feel like it, I'm sure she could use any extra good thoughts you might wish to send.
7:27 p.m. - 2012-03-16
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