I've had a lot to write about recently, but just haven't felt like I had the energy to get into details (not that any of it is earth-shattering). Had a conversation with the g/f of a bar-buddy of mine, and got to see a different perspective on the whole age issue - the point that she made was that the unwillingness to share it indicated an insecurity, moreso than anything else. I hadn't thought of it that way (or if I had, I've since forgotten), but I'm still not sure if that changes my thoughts on it. It shouldn't be such a big issue, yet it kind of pisses me off that I feel forced to make an exclusive choice on this; either stick to my beliefs, both that not knowing affects aging and that age shouldn't matter, or cave to the fact that my beliefs will isolate me for the rest of my life. Fuck. I'm getting annoyed just writing about it - next topic...
Got my bonus from work a week or two ago, and it was pretty good - enough in fact, to pay the remainder of what I owe my ma from when I bought the house, and still have enough left over to pay for all of my kitchen cabinets, appliances, etc. I finished the trim painting in the bedroom (well, aside from the stuff at the ceiling, which I may replace eventually) so either tonight or tomorrow, I'm going to put the old blinds back up temporarily, and move the bed/etc back in. By the end of this weekend, I should have the area rugs down in the living room, as well as having the bike set back up to use. Next step is to finish painting the linen closet doors and the trim in the hall, along with the doors for the bathroom and the spare room. I have to do those first, because I'm set up to paint on the saw horses in the (empty) kitchen, and I won't be able to do that once I start working on that room.
Mentioning the bike and the new indoor trainer I bought, I got to thinking about my physical fitness, and where I am now, as compared to a year or so ago when I'd still been working out on a regular basis. I didn't fully realize just how bad I'd gotten until recently, when I started having issues with my pants being quite tight. There was a point, when I'd been lifting/running consistently, where my weight got down to roughly #190-#195, and I had a lot of muscle mass (the last max. deadlift I pulled was #305!). Well, once the pants 'shrunk', I started weighing myself once or twice a week. last night, I was over #220! FUCK. Fast food, almost total lack of exercise, and lots of stress from the move, the job, etc, really took a toll. So I decided that on of the most important things for me to do is get the trainer set back up as soon as possible, and then get the kitchen done quickly. It's funny for me to say, but I actually miss cooking, and the good (if simple) food I used to make. I'm so sick of takeout, or microwave crap from the store. #220? Again I say... FUCK. Such a fat-ass... I found a couple of videos I took of myself doing deadlifts (took them to ensure my form was correct, so as not to injure myself) - one of which was when I had just started (maybe a month in) and the other was taken almost 3 months into it, just before I stopped. I couldn't believe the change, and after comparing the two, I realized that even if I hadn't realized it at the time, I really had started to look pretty good. I can't get back into the weights yet, do to the mould issue still present in the basement, but at very least, I can start getting my wind back & maybe even start running again in a month or so - anything to stop me from getting 'fluffier'! Now that I think about it, I want to put links to those videos on the desktop on my home laptop, so I can review them & see where I need to be - hopefully, it will be motivating!
Ugh. Ok, back to work... Hope yas are doing well!
10:41 a.m. - 2012-03-08
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