So I was supposed to have practice tonight around 8-8:30pm - I waited for the guys to call me, but by 9:30p, they hadn't called so I wrote them off. Just before 10pm, I got a call from them about getting together - I didn't answer. I've been staying in, but tonight, I decided to have a few drinks since they hadn't called me, and by that point, I decided the night was a total write-off. I spent the night bar-hopping, and I spent the night developing an aversion to happiness, apparently. The first half of the night was reasonably fun, but I hit a point where I was entirely too discouraged by life, and I turned to text messages to placate my soul.
I wrote to people I fully intended not to contact until they found me, but what can I say, I'm weak. The ones who wrote back were surprisingly more receptive than I anticipated, so I'm feeling ok... To a point, that is... and I was rather social, which one would assume was good, but I feel a little stupid about it. I talked more than I ever would normally intend to, and that bothers me. If I'm not willing/able to talk openly with people when sober, why the fuck would I do so when slightly to partially inebriated.
It's been 10-15 minutes now, and I can't think of anything else to say, other than I'm feeling very isolated and alone tonight. I make me sad...
1:44 a.m. - 2012-02-24
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