On my way home from work yesterday, I decided to stop up to the grocery store & pick up a few things (and hoping, in the back of my mind, that blue-eyes would be working!) Turns out she wasn't, unfortunately, but guess who I saw? The gal from those two shows a couple weeks back, Meg-D's friend with the facial piercings! I rounded the corner & there she was - and for once, I didn't freeze up, I actually gave her a really big smile and said hi, and to my pleasant surprise, got the same back! It was a quick, 2-3 second thing, as we were passing each other in the aisle, but it made my night. I'd been wondering about her & whether I'd ever bump into her again, so it's cool to know that she likely lives in the area. I kind of feel like an idiot, but I was smiling for the rest of my shopping trip. I didn't see her again, and I checked out & took my things home.
Seeing her put me on the thought that maybe I should stop out somewhere before practice to see if I might run into anyone else (or maybe her again), so I had a drink at Lou's (place was dead), then stopped by the Dog (they were charging a $5 cover & I wasn't going to stay for more than one drink, so I left), then I remembered that Meg_D was playing at a place I'll call Duff's for now (it's not in my venue list, as I rarely ever go there). I ran into some people I knew, got to see her play a few songs, and decided I should head off to practice. We had some issues again, screwed up a few songs again, and had some personnel issues (drummer was a mess, emotionally), but got through practice alright, and I'm still fairly confident about the gig. Looks like we might actually have a decent turnout as well! I told the drummer that I wasn't too concerned about any money we made, as long as I got enough to be able to say I'm a professional musician! (Essentially, I told him to give me $5, and the could have the rest, because 1) they're going to be running the sound for all the bands that night & will have earned it, and 2) I have a well-paying, full-time job & I don't really *need* the money, whereas they both do. He was cool about it, said thanks, and that they wouldn't "be dicks" about it & would pay me more than that. It's all good, so I'm getting excited about it now!
Viv & I haven't really hung out much recently, other than one night where I went to her place & taught her some guitar (she made dinner, so it was a good trade-off!). I think the next time the "physical" issue comes up again, I'm going to tell her that it's just not going to work for me. I like hanging out with her, but I still get the feeling that she's trying to win me back, and even though I've been clear about things, that idea has kind of ruined the "having fun" aspect of a FWB arrangement.
Still haven't heard from GRJ or the Joker, nor CC either. CC came to mind again last night, and it still surprises me how much I can miss someone I both never really had anything with, and wasn't really right for me, but I do. Hopefully I can meet someone new soon, so that I don't have to keep falling back on old memories...
P.S. thanks for the notes about my son, guys, I appreciate it. I was really nervous to tell anyone about it again, for fear of being judged negatively, or condemned for my/our decision, as I still carry a ton of guilt about it. Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean to say that I think any of you would actually do that, but the fear is still there. Anyway, thanks again for the support! :-)
11:48 a.m. - 2012-02-17
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