I got my second heat-a/c estimate in the mail last night - this one was about a grand more... approx. $9500. The thing that really pisses me off about this, is that I can buy the heat-a/c combined, for less than $2600 (plus shipping, but still). I'm calling one company back to see if they'll install a unit that's already on-site, and how much they'd want for just duct work & hook-up. It's been pretty cold the last few mornings, and I'm starting to get nervous.
I spent a few hours going through a bunch of old emails/messages online, from both Vivian and CC, and deleting them. I'd been hoping to find something positive that would help me feel better, remind me that at times, there actually were women who were interested in me (that I was also interested in, mind you). Unfortunately, all I found was negativity & break-up stuff, hence the deletion. I'm prtty sure that (minus the journal entries) I don't have anything remaining from either of them for me to dwell on.
Wow. I really don't seem able to focus on positive things, do I? My life is pretty good right now; I've got a good job, a new place, I'm healthy... Why this incessant need for friends/a special someone? Why can I not just be happy on my own? Shouldn't that be possible? And why the hell am I still stuck on this after so many years? I guess everyone needs friends, right? I need to learn how to be a friend, and how to make/keep them. Maybe then I'll loosen up & start enjoying life.
I hope so.
10:40 a.m. - 2011-09-08
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