So I've managed to run three times in the last couple weeks, which is better than I expected, but not as good as I'd hoped. I keep getting sidetracked by things I need to get done. I also got a bit distracted with some emotional issues, some related to an ex, some related to my "terminally single" status, and some related to a friend who was "terminal" as in, passed away.
I've been going out constantly, due to the fact that I have no kitchen and dining out is my only real option. Once3 out, of course, my willpower sucks, and I end up having a couple beers or so, which may or may not turn into several. It's been a struggle, and I think I might be on to why that is. For a long time, I was writing off my inability to get things done, to the fact that I was in a shitty place (mentally and physically) due to my old house. I attributed all of my procrastination and lethargy to depression and hopelessness tied to being in that house, and all the memories that came with it. I always thought that the reason I never did anything there was because it wasn't worth it, as long as I lived there.
Took a couple of ADD tests recently; one quick one with my counselor, and one online ((totallyadd.com), and found thast, while I don't really have many symptoms for impulsivity or hyper-activity, I actually had all 10 symptoms for inattentiveness, and hyper-focus. I have a horrible time starting projects, even if I know they need to be done, but once ZI do actually start them, I might work on them for 8-10 hrs straight, even skipping meals & such. I'm going to talk with my counselor again about trying some ADD meds again. You know, it's even possible that I'm dealing with both ADD and depression together, which would really explain a lot. Hopefully, I can find something to change things for the better soon.
As for CC, fortunately, she never wrote back. Dodged a bullet there! At least I can go ahead and write that off now. I did end up talking to Vivian a couple days ago - she let me know that they were ok after the hurricane, but that was really about it. I'm kind of over speaking with her too now. That, of course, struck up the "I'm all alone" mental vibe I've been struggling with though, as those two were the only women with whom I felt any sort of emotional connection, and now that that's gone, I feel alone again.
Got a lot more, but it's lunch time, so I'm gonna scram.
More later...
11:46 a.m. - 2011-09-06
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
elusive-you
lust-
comebacktome
ahopeinhell
silver4
kelsi
stepfordtart