1) Looked at a house last night that I really liked. Now I'm concerned - am I just jumping at the first place I really dig, because everything else sucked, or do I really like it? Will it meet all of my needs? Also, it's priced pretty low, but it's a closed-bid system, so how do I know what to bid? I obviously want to bid as low as possible, but I don't want to miss out on it either. I'm starting to worry that I'm going to be too gunshy to actually buy a place, for fear of missing out on something even better, especially considering the fact that we're about to have another wave of foreclosures hit. Even though the place is pretty good, maybe I should wait a bit more.
2) So, I have one "aye" vote, one "eh" vote, and a few "abstains" regarding my profile description - not exactly confidence-boosting. So, whether you like/dislike what I've written, what do you think about the presentation? Is it positive? Confident? Arrogant? Jerk-ish? Rambling? Too blunt? Friendly enough? Any "red-flags"? I don't think I'm going to do anything with it until after I'm in my new place and have settled in a bit, but you never know.
3) My back/neck still hurt every day - makes me wonder if I deserve this for some reason!? Maybe some past-life transgression? That might explain my lifelong detachment issue, and why I don't seem to be able to find anyone who's actually *right* for me, too. It's all one big "screw you!" from the karmic world...
4) I've been working on a new poem for a week or two now, and for the life of me, I can't come up with an adequate way to end it without sounding cliche. I've been so bereft of ideas for writing recently, that I think I ought to just give up on it altogether. I don't even enjoy it anymore.
5) I'm hesitant to cut my hair now. I don't usually care for it long, but I've gotten to the point where I like it now, and I think if I cut it, I'm going to be terribly self-conscious and insecure. I did notice something recently, though - the kind of women to which I'm truly attracted, are *never*, in all my experience, attracted to guys like me. Not by sight, anyway. I've though back on all of the women on whom I've had fairly major crushes, and they all go for the clean-cut look, either "preppy" or 'sophisticated" (college-town vs. big-city). It makes me sad to think that, in order to meet someone, I'm going to have to modify my appearance in order to get beyond the "first impression" dismissal. On the other hand, change is always good, and who knows? Maybe changing my outward appearance will bring about a change inwardly as well. Gods know I could use that.
12:19 p.m. - 2009-10-20
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