I came across an email thread today that I'd forgotten I saved a while back, and I felt compelled to read through it from the beginning. It was touching, and made me smile (and a couple times, brought me close to tears). Remembering how I felt back then was a great reminder that those feelings aren't gone from my life, they're just lying dormant, and 'reliving' those thoughts and emotions was mostly a wonderful experience. On the other hand, it was also somewhat defeating, realizing that pragmatism and a desire to avoid feeling depressed about how things progressed, made me set those feelings aside to an extent.
Hope is a funny thing. When you have it, it feels like a life raft; when you don't, it feels like an anchor. Hope is a fine thing too, if you can learn to keep it general, and not attach it to specific outcomes. I'm trying to do that right now, but it feels like an almost impossible task...
3:17 p.m. - 2021-04-09
Recent entries:
Slightly Improved. - 2021-04-18
Deserved. - 2021-04-17
Let-down. - 2021-04-15
Not really worth the effort. - 2021-04-12
Another intimate dream - 2021-04-10
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