This actually describes me pretty well. Not sure if that helps me any though, just one more piece to add to this infinitely frustrating puzzle.
The Men Who Have Mostly Female Friends...
Also, I realized something last night about why I don't have any close friends. I don't have the energy to socialize/hang out with people who are a constant energy drag. I want to help people/be there for them if/when they need someone, but with my depression issues, I simply can't be around that type of person on a regular basis - it burns me out too much.
You know what the problem is? *I* am that kind of person, and I'm sure people think the same about me. It's a self-perpetuating circle of negativity. And since I've been this way for decades now, everyone knows me as 'that depressed/sad guy', probably people I haven't even met.
I guess I can't really complain - at least I'm open & honest about who I am. If people want to avoid me for that, I probably don't need them in my life. But if that turns out to be *everybody*, I'm going to have a long, lonely, isolated life. I keep wondering if moving somewhere new would allow me to reinvent myself/my public image, but then I remember that I can't escape my depression, so the only way I could, is if I hide who I am when I'm down. That doesn't seem like an honest, 'true-to-oneself' way to live, so again, I'm at a loss.
Will update basics later tonight.
Cold Shower: 10 min @ 64°F/18.1°C
Sleep Quality Last Night (10=best): 2
5:37 p.m. - 2019-08-23
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