Why do I tolerate people disrespecting me so much by ghosting on me? Why do I keep an open mind, give them the benefit of the doubt?
Because I'm alone & have no one. Because I'll take table-scraps of attention, when those are the only forms I get. *Because* those are the only kinds I get. Because if I don't get those, I get nothing.
I'm fed up with inconsiderate people, and I'm fed up with this life. I think I'm fed up with myself for accepting/tolerating this behavior, but to quote The Fabul0us Thund3rb1rds, "second-hand love is better than none".
I want to cut ties with (most) everyone, but I'm too weak. Too dependent on external validation. Well, external input, anyway. I can't live my life any more, tucked away in my own mind, no matter how much easier it seems like it would be, nor how much I'd honestly like to.
It's a stupid thought, but sometimes I kind of wish I hadn't made it past that dumb anniversary date. This would all be over & I wouldn't have to worry about what the fuck I'm going to do with the rest of my life.
12:06 a.m. - 2019-07-06
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