Not sure how I did it, but after my warmup & stretching, I started off on my run. When I got to the point where I typically have started walking for a block or so before starting up again, something inside me said "I don't want to stop, I'm going to run the whole distance".
It was slow, I'm sure (didn't time myself), but after only getting out 5-6 times (I think), I managed to run my 1-mile route non-stop. I can feel the cold in my lungs a bit, but I'm pretty pleased to have made it, even if I had felt like stopping a few times.
On another topic, my ma has arranged hospice care for my grandma, as they found cancer in the swelling that's started to grow on her neck . She's refusing chemo, and is too old & frail for surgery, so they're just going to manage her pain until she passes on. (I won't get into how I feel about that right now.)
Anyway, my sister is coming to town with her two daughters to visit g'ma on Friday, I think. and I'll be going over as well. The next few weeks/months are going to be hard on the family.
I hope I can be strong enough for them & I hope that I don't end up falling back into a full-blown, months-long depression again. At least, until I know that they're all going to be ok - I've spent so many years "clinically depressed" that I know how to cope with it. They, on the other hand, seem to just want to avoid the topic of death altogether, so I have no idea how they'll react. All I can do to help, is my best.
4:28 p.m. - 2019-01-16
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