...on second thought, the only issue might be that I don't want to date someone with kids, and those women seem to be non-existent around here.
Don't remember if I mentioned this a while back or not, but months ago I had one of my typical strange dreams. There was a lot more to it, but the only things I remember now are that I was involved in a car accident. I remember thinking that I couldn't call the police because, while looking around after the crash, I saw CC. Her body was jet black & somewhat mummified & she appeared to have been dead a long time. I wasn't shocked or disturbed, just acknowledged it. Anyway, it's like I knew the cops would blame me if they saw her, so I sat there trying to think of what I should do.
That's all I remember of the dream, but when I woke up in the morning, I knew that whatever connection we had, and whatever feelings I'd harboured for her were gone.
You might also remember a little bit ago I'd run across her dating profile online & debated whether to contact her. I let it go for a while, but she kept popping up, like three times in a couple weeks. (For some reason, the website's pseudo-"swipe" page was set to "everywhere", not local to me, and I couldn't change it). Anyway, the last time she popped up, I decided to "like" her profile & send her a message - just a quick "what a surprise to randomly find you" kind of thing, no big deal.
Well, I didn't hear back from her for a couple weeks, so I went back to re-read the message, just to make sure I wasn't out of line (I wasn't, it was fine), but another week or two after that, I thought I'd check out her profile again & it was gone. No big deal, maybe she met someone, I thought. Fast forward another couple weeks & I was curious if she really went offline, so I did a general search of her home town. She must have deleted her profile & made another one, because she was on there, different user name, shorter profile description, fewer pictures.
I know it might sound stalker-ish, but really, I was trying to see if maybe she just hadn't seen my message or something. Considering the new profile, and the fact that, even though we'd discussed meeting up again this past Nov/Dec andI'd not heard back from her about that either, well, I think it's obvious that there's nothing left of that friendship, and I assume the dream was either my picking up on her decision not to contact me again, or on my own decision that I was over it myself.
Either way. I went through and archived all her emails again & took her out of my address book. No more second thoughts, no more wondering "what if"... disappointing, but also freeing.
On another note, I'm going downtown to see a friend do a painting live during our city's monthly art thing. She invited me last month, then reminded me yesterday that it was happening tonight. I hope I can find parking.
3:53 p.m. - 2018-02-02
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