Things are going a bit slow on the old house, but I only have three main things to finish now, in the house; paint the hallway & ceiling in the bathroom, clear out the rest of my 'sale' stuff (decided against it) & clean the floors, and then "the basement". Between returning bottles & moving stuff out, I've come across a few mouse carcasses - I didn't realize I had any anymore. I never did see one on the main or upper floor. Anyway, it looks like I'm not going to have it ready by this weekend, so hopefully I can make some good progress on it then. I really want to try to have it ready by October 1st (did I mention this already?).
The main floor looks pretty good now, got all the trim installed and all of the trim/scratches on the walls touched up, got the light/valance above the sink done, most of the bathroom is scrubbed down, including the walls (just have to do the tub itself). Overall, it's looking pretty good, I think.
I wrote to CC maybe a month or so ago, told her about the new house & things, but didn't hear a thing back for over three weeks. When she finally did reply, it was fairly long, but no explanation as to why, just a quick apology for taking so long. There was nothing in the email that I found compelling enough to answer right away. After a week or so, I wrote a quick note saying I'd been busy & would try to find the time this (last) weekend. I didn't. And I'm not terribly upset by it. Since the move, or maybe just coinciding with it, I'm finding myself short of patience for these kinds of things. I just find it a bit disrespectful to take so long without offering up some sort of explanation. I'd even mentioned (in my original message) something about maybe trying to meet up again this year during the holidays. She mentioned that with her new-ish job, she has no vacation time & asked what I had in mind, implying that I'd be the one traveling if it were to happen. I wasn't originally turned off by that thought, but the demeanour of her reply has me indifferent to seeing her again. It might finally be time to write her off completely & just let her contact me if she wants.
I've about reached the same point with GRJ. I'd invited her down back when I was moving & on vacation (and promised her I wouldn't rope her into any moving tasks). She gave some crap excuses, one of which was not trusting her van to make the 2 hr round trip. Of course I can understand that, but then a week or so later, I get a text from her saying she's in town with her ma(who lives here in my town) and wondering if they could stop for a visit. I was up for it, even set aside some time for it. Got a text the day before she was to stop by, basically saying her ma had stressed her out to much & they wouldn't be coming by, but maybe she could stop on her own later, which again, I was fine with. Another text an hour or two later & she basically cancels, citing "mother-guilt" and having to be to work early the next morning.
I was understanding in reply, but it really irritated me. 1st, tell me your van can't make the trip, then drive down to see your ma. Then tell me you're coming over, then bail on that, when you're literally 5 minutes away. I've been putting effort into trying to arrange some 'hang-out' time with her for months. I would think that, being one of her best, if not the best friend she has, that she would reciprocate. My friendship obviously doesn't mean that much to her. It's fine, people move on, but I can't put any more effort into this either. I'll reply when/if she contacts me, but I won't be contacting her, nor going out of my way to be available when/if she has free time. Honestly, I'd rather have no friends. I guess a part of me always knew ours was a one-sided friendship; I was always around to support her, but whenever I called/texted in a negative mood, she either never replied, or was having troubles of her own & couldn't support me.
That seems to be the main kind of friendship I form. I want to be helpful, to those who need and (I feel) deserve it. Not in a *I deem you worthy* way, but in a *this seems like a genuinely nice person, I want to help* way. I never really expect reciprocation, because that's not a good reason to do something. But, I will notice after a while, whether or not someone does reciprocate - that's just a sign of being a good person themselves. If they don't, they're either too self-centered, or they're not at a point where they've grown enough to be that kind of person. Neither are condemning, but they are a sign of whether that person is worth investing more of my time with. I need to learn to let go of those people much earlier in the process.
Hrm... that was more than I intended to write. I suppose it's fine though.
7:28 p.m. - 2017-09-19
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