Realized tonight (again) that my chance for a relationship has passed, years ago. I may have been open to most anything in the past, but now? Well, I don't think the things I would like are out of line in any way, or being too picky, just impossible to find around here in the form of a *single* female. It doesn't help that I'm no prize myself, you know? Socially awkward at first, physically average-looking, introvert with an inadvertently dour demeanour (RBF, for those in-the-know), and, let's face it... old. Well, old for the type of women who seem to have the personality/attributes to which I'm attracted, anyway.
People say "You'll meet someone as soon as you stop looking!". I think that's kind of, well... let's say "naive". If you're not looking, you're likely to 'walk right by it' without even realizing. That's exactly how I feel about my chances; like at some point, several years ago, I missed someone, or maybe a few someones, and now I'm just too set in my ways to be open to anything anymore.
I think it's funny that I've known this for so many years, but keep 'realizing' it every so often. Why is it that I have to find 'hope' after a while? Why can't I just accept it & move on? It's pretty frustrating, to be honest.
8:56 p.m. - 2016-03-13
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