Surprisingly, I don't have much to write about my A2 visit this year. Roads were really clear, drive was uneventful. I had almost decided not to go this year because I didn't feel this 'need', but when I thought about how I'd feel if I didn't, (there would be no assuaging the guilt if I ended up feeling that way) I decided it was best to go. The only bright spot was, literally, a 'bright spot' - this is the 1st year I remember the sun shining the whole time I was there. It was strong enough to feel the warmth through my jeans, even in 15°F weather. There were birds too, most all the time, flying around in the background, which always seems to comfort me a bit. I've also decided that this year, I'll be having a little 'service' of my own where I'll burn (cremate?) his mementos that I've been keeping all these years. I think it's time, whether or not I decided to keep going to visit. I also have my kittens' ashes still, so I thought I'd spread them on the yard somewhere; kind of a way to let go of the past & move on, in a way.
After having practiced a few songs with one of the open mic guys for the last few weeks, I finally got up & did a few songs! He came up with me & helped fill in the sound, between strumming & picking some lead notes over my chords. My guitar playing wasn't great, we got mixed up on one song ending, and I dropped my pick on one song, but 1) I only forgot a couple chords on one song but kept going, so it wasn't too obvious, 2) the way we messed up made the ending sound like an echo/a round, where he was a measure behind me - it sounded alright for a fuck-up! and 3) when I dropped my pick, he handed me his, and I picked right up where I left off, which was a much better recovery than the last time I did it ages ago.
The thing I got the most compliments on though, was my singing. Not just that my singing itself was good, but that I (apparently) had a 'great presence' on the mic, that I was really good at keeping my vocals aimed at/in range of the mic, whereas many people who go up tend to lean away from it so they can't be heard. I was also lucky in that I had the main people there, whom I had wanted to see me play; Meg_D (& her beau, a great blues bass player), Schleudacris (the guy I practiced with), and the TrainMan (not the Matrix one! A guy who loves to sing about trains/railroads/etc. Might have mentioned him before, tall, skinny, fantastic guitar player? He's been trying to talk me into playing for a few years now). There were also a couple guys who are regulars that are really good, but that I didn't know personally, but they were very complimentary as well. Schleudacris told me last week that I'm going to play again this week (tomorrow), which is probably a good idea, as I've been feeling like I can't (anxiety). It'll be good to keep at it for a bit, just to try to get somewhat comfortable with the idea of playing in front of people.I mean, I can karaoke anywhere now, but I used to be terrified of that as well, so I know I can get there if I try.
I told Viv & GRJ about doing it, and Viv was really excited for me, while GRJ wanted to know when I was playing again, because she wanted to come down & see me play. Turns out she can't get down here on a Wednesday until next month, so I've got a few weeks to get comfortable. Oh, speaking of comfortable, I had to have a couple drinks last week to settle my nerves enough to play. I'm really going to try to not have anything this week if I can help it. I tend to rely too much on drinks to get me through social anxiety issues, and I think I really need to learn to do these things without it. Besides, I need to quit drinking (aside from an occasional beer) so I can get my training back in line. If I want to aim for a contest, I need to get my shit together!
Speaking of that, I've been back to strongman training twice now, and I'm disappointed with how much strength I've lost. I'm also having spine issues with the heavier loading. I know after another week or two, this'll be fine and I'll get used to it, but it's tough. I've been trying a new routine (5-3-1), but it really doesn't feel like it's right for me now. I think I need more volume in order to put on more muscle mass before I go for strength, so I'm going to switch back to a volume-based program after this week. I'll need to stay focused on getting more sleep and eating more/better, because recovery is really important with this type of training. I also want to try to run another 5k this spring/summer some time, so I need to get that going again as well. Hopefully, that'll keep me from getting too fat while trying to eat enough to 'bulk up'.
Having finally gotten the money from the car I sold Viv, I'd decided to look into getting my old cycle repaired so I could ride it again. Had the guys from the shop stop by to look it over & they told me that honestly, it would be smarter for me to just part it out & try to make some of my money back, rather than fix it. I'm pretty disappointed, but I kind of knew it already. One of them gave me some contact info for a guy who might be able to sell it off piece by piece for a commission (10%, I think? will find out later this week hopefully). I'd be fine with 10%, because the only other choice is to get an evilbay account & try to sell the parts on my own. I know me - I won't do it, or if I do, I'll be slow to ship and end up with terrible user ratings. Just seems like to much of a P.I.A. so I'll contact the guy. With my current bike, it turns out I have a slight electrical issue with my headlights, so I'm having the shop pick it up to rewire that area. They should be coming for it on Thursday, and I hope to have it by the weekend, but the weather's supposed to get bad again, so it might not matter, as long as I get it before March (can't afford to be without it, in case I get a clear day - have to make sure to get my 'at least one day a month' in, ya know!)
Oh yeah! I got the laundry water lines fixed on Sunday. Had to buy several pieces of copper pipe & two dielectric couplers, then just had to 'sweat' the pipes together & thread them on the old pipes. Took me most of the afternoon, but most of that time was waiting for the copper to cool off. ('Sweating' pipes is basically dipping each end in a 'flux', fitting them together, then using a propane torch to heat the copper enough that the solder melts, so it'll flow into the joint to seal it once it cools.) So anyway, I finally got to do some laundry Sunday night - what a relief!
I think I've finally made a decision about my current house, regarding whether or not to really fix it up. Similar to what's going on with my old cycle, I think that this house, while a great place, isn't worth enough to warrant dumping a bunch of money into. I'm going to talk with my realtor in the next week or two to see what kinds of inexpensive things I can do to improve it's sales appeal. The only thing I think might be an expense that's worthwhile would be possibly to have it painted. I'll try having it power-washed first, but I think the paint is really bad. Obviously, I need to do some landscaping, finish up the interior issues, etc. but I'm going to try to limit my costs so that in a year or two, I can sell & find a house that's worth investing a bit into. I really do like this place, but it's just not big enough for all the things I want to do.
Wow, that was a lot of bullshit to write, I hope I got it all!
P.S. Nope, there's one more thing re: dating, but it's lengthy in itself, and considering the loquacious, nay, verbose nature of this entry, I think it best left for another time...
1:25 p.m. - 2016-02-23
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