Not sure where to start...
Had the realtor over to see what needs fixing up to sell the house. While talking, found out that I likely won't get as much as I was hoping for, price-wise. This is making me reconsider selling this year, as I won't be able to look in the price range I'd hoped, and there's not much on the market for the range my sale price would allow. Not sure what to do, but for now, I'm going to finish painting, trim work, then start packing the place up (throwing shit away, packing what I don't need, etc.) just to see how uncluttered I can get it. Worst case is I stay another year in a clean, less cluttered house. Going to start painting when I'm done with this, I think.
Motorcycle needs to go to the shop, as the front fork seals are leaking. Not the best timing, because a) the weather's been fantastic this week & I haven't been able to ride, and b) it's going to cost around $300 to fix that, on top of the $350-400 for the new front caliper/brake line I need. I've got the money for it, but it's putting a big hole in my down payment funds.
Been hanging out with Viv a bit recently. We'd talked some about maybe hooking up again, but have spent our time recently just talking & sometimes "snuggling" as she puts it. We got a little "hands-y" this last time, and while it was fun, there really wasn't any making out, or any kind of connection. She's also saying things that are triggering my "warning flag" alarms, things that come across as her still being in love with me (which she's all but admitted to before). I wanted to be able to have a go-to for physical affection/comfort/sex, but everything about this is telling me it's wrong/not going to work, etc. Not looking forward to telling her this, as I said the same things the last time we tried.
I've also "sold" her my other car. I put "sold" in quotes because she doesn't have the cash yet, but we agreed to write up a contract with payment date agreements, total amount, etc. We haven't filled them out yet, but she drove the car home the other night. I still have the title, and I'm thinking of keeping it until it's paid off. Thing is, I don't know if she can insure it without the title/registration!? It's currently under my insurance policy so it's legal, but if anything happens while she's driving it, I don't know how that will affect my insurance rates? She's been awarded child support & should start getting it in the next few weeks. Since she's been getting by on her own pay so far, she said she could pay me with that until it's paid off. The only reason I let her take the car now is because of her current b/f situation. She's driving a car he's leasing, and even though they're somewhat broken up, he's holding it over her head. If he takes the car back, she won't be able to get to work, and he's taking advantage of that to get her to do things. It's pretty shitty. I want to be helpful, but I'm also nervous about her having the car without paying me. I've been burned a couple times by people doing that...
Still haven't had a drink, even though there is a leftover 6pack of Bell's Oberon in my fridge (Viv got it the other night when she was here). I'm thinking that I might allow myself a drink or two in four weeks, when my current lifting routine is over. That will be over four months, which is pretty good. I guess we'll see. I have two gigs to see downtown tonight, and while I'm looking forward to seeing them, I'm not looking forward to doing it sober. It's been really difficult the last few times I've tried. Each time, I've ended up leaving after a couple songs, then going home after being out for less than an hour. I just don't fit in anymore, and it sucks. And to not have my cycle makes it even worse!
Not much else to say, beyond the standard "I need/want a girlfriend" stuff.
2:31 p.m. - 2015-04-18
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