I'm getting anxious/nervous about my upcoming trip. I still need to buy clothes, I don't know what bag to pack or if I'll have to buy a new one (I'm trying to only use a carry-on so I don't have to check any bags), and I'm not looking forward to the crowds at the airport. I'll be excited once I'm in Europe, but I really dislike the transatlantic flight to Germany. I need to check my seat assignment - if I'm in an aisle seat, I'll feel a bit better. I can deal with a window seat too, but I'll have a difficult time of it with people on either side of me.
I need to find one of the old pictures I took last time, to show the owner of the local bar I frequented while in Germany last time. After a few days (I spent two weeks there) he was calling me by name when I would walk in at night! I was a bit heavier then, and I'm not sure if he'd recognize me anymore... Anyway, it was really cool, made me feel welcome at a time when I was feeling pretty shitty. I was going through a divorce then (in fact, my first day back to work was the day my divorce was finalized), and I was really dejected, yet I still had a good time, so I can only imagine how much better this trip will be! I miss Germany, especially the people.
I've never been to England, and I'm a bit concerned that I'm going to come off as a horrible "tourist". All I know about the culture I learned from the BBC America shows I got to watch (Keeping Up Appearances, Are You Being Served, Absolutely Fabulous, Monty Python, and, of course, The Young Ones and Dr. Who!) and the small bit of reading I did about Cockney rhyming slang (which I adore & hope to learn a bit more about! - Wait... can a guy say "adore", about something like that!?). I'll probably spend the first day or two feeling like I should just not talk so I can take in all of the new info. I'm also afraid that I'll inadvertently drift into "accent mimicry", as I love doing accents and "British" is one of my favorites. Unfortunately, we Americans tend to lump anything similar-sounding into that catch-all category. Most of us can't really tell the difference between Australian, New Zealand, British, Irish, Scottish, etc., let alone all of the regional dialects, which I've heard are abundant. I just know I'm going to accidentally start into it, and all the locals will be all, "OOoohh, get a load of the American trying to fit in & sounding like an arse!" In all honesty though, I hope I pick up on it accurately, so when I come home, I can actually pull it off, rather than sounding like Paul Hogan doing an impression of David Tennant doing an impression of John Cleese...
On a completely unrelated topic, I wish I wasn't so thin-skinned when it comes to criticism, especially when I hear it 2nd-hand. I'm pretty much a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy, and every time I realize (again) that people just aren't like that, it always hurts/affects me more than it likely should. Why are people (in general) so two-faced? I can handle someone thinking poorly of me (don't like that idea, but I can handle it) if they're honest about it. What I don't like is believing someone thinks well of me, then finding out it might be a lie. Truth, and tact, that's all I ever ask from anyone.
Fuck it. At least I don't have to bother putting any effort into making this day "nice" - not gonna happen now. I'll worry about tomorrow when it arrives.
1:19 p.m. - 2013-09-20
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