Band practice Thursday was kind of annoying. It was JRP's b-day so we got a pizza & hung out a bit beforehand. At one point we discussed what we were going to do for practice. I said that since he'd brought some new equipment that he wanted to try out/show us, and since it was his b-day, we should just not bother "practicing", and should just spend a short evening jamming some improv stuff.JP pretended to be ok with it, but wanted a compromise of practicing "a few of our songs" first, then we could jam. Not sure if I mentioned this before, but JP records all of our practices, in case we come up with something new to develop, or for footage to make a video, etc, and he wanted us to get a good, clean take of this one song. We ended up having to play it seven times before we got a good take.Then JRP decided we needed a good "live" video to put online so we could start promoting the band, so we ended up doing 3 more songs (and multiple times, I might add), and by the time we were done with that, JRP wanted to show us his new rig setup. We played one song with it (I ended up being on the opposite side from where I usually play & couldn't hear my bass for shit, so it kind of sucked). After that, I told them I had to leave, so in general, I was disappointed in the night. Seems like I'm typically disappointed when I go over there, but until I have something new to do, I'm going to stick with them, I guess.
Friday I went downtown to Lou's to see a few bands play. It was a decent time, the bands were ok, and I had several drinks. Typical night - starts out fun, drifts into "meh", end in "blargh". Oh well. Saturday I sat around the house most of the afternoon (it was in the 30�s and rainy, shitty day to do anything). I had bought a Steve Martin 3-pack of movies ("The Lonely Guy", "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid", and "The Jerk"!), so I watched The Jerk. It's one of my favorite silly movies of all time, right up there with Space Balls & Blazing Saddles! After that, I went out to the garage & got another workout in. I'm not doing too bad so far, feeling pretty good about it. My buddy Huey's band was playing a gig at the venue below Shake's from 19:00-20:00, so I hurried down to see them. Viv came along too, as she'd asked me earlier what was going on that night. We hung out for a bit, had a few drinks, and ended up bar-hopping, eventually making it back to my place & fooling around for a bit. It was a fun night, but ill-timed, as I hadn't had much sleep the night before, and I didn't sleep *at all* that night (I have a really bad time of sleeping when someone else is around - it takes months for me to sleep remotely well with someone in the same bed).
Sunday morning after Viv went home, I had to meet my ma/g'ma for breakfast at a little local restaurant we always go to. The only reason I go is because I never see them, and it's a good way to limit the amount of time I have to spend. I don't mind visiting with my g'ma so much, but my ma drives me insane. Maybe this is why my life seems so dull/empty, but all she does is gossip/talk about what everyone else is doing in their life, and then making harsh judgments about how they shouldn't be doing that, or "isn't that sad/sick/disgusting/etc", and without fail, *every* time we go to this place, she'll say something like "ok, i can say it now, they've left - did you see that table over [blah blah blah]..." and will proceed to condemn them for who-knows-what. Even if I might agree with her at times, I just don't feel it's my place to judge anyone. Everybody has their own path to follow in life, and who am I to say whether it's right or wrong for them, you know? It's really hard for me to hold my tongue, and half the time, I can't, and I just cause a bunch of tension between the three of us. If I really felt that way though, you would think I should be able to let my ma do that without feeling a need to "call her out" on it. My problem is though, that she's not the quietest person, and even when she thinks she's being so, other people around her can hear, and then I get embarrassed for her (and a little for myself, because I don't want to be associated with gossip/gossipers).
That brings up an interesting question - at what point should a person speak up when they see/hear something with which they don't agree? "Live and let live" is fine, but at what point should one stand up & say "I disagree with that!"? Personally, I try not to say anything unless the person is being very mean/harsh in their judgment, at which point I'll try to put them in a similar comparison to kind of get them looking inward, but is that really my place? One of the things I don't like about religion is the way they preach that their way is the right way, the only way, and each religion does it. If I don't like it when they do it, what right do I have to tell others how to treat people? I guess the difference is that (in my opinion) my beliefs have little to do with specific "morals", and much to do with mutual respect and kindness, acting from a center of positive intent. It's kind of like the difference between someone saying that they're "anti-war" rather than being "pro-peace" - it's a different focal perspective. Can you imagine someone saying "I'm fighting against war!!" Isn't that kind of dumb? How about peacefully promoting peace?
Meh, I'm getting sidetracked now. Oh! Last thing for today... I finally got up the nerve to play an open mic night! Only did four songs, because I was frakking nervous I even dropped my pick at one point! I sang "Lonely People" - by America, "Summer Breeze" - by Seals & Crofts, and "Something to Say" and "All Things in Time" - by Toad the Wet Sprocket. It was the end of the night and there were very few people there so i could have done a few more, but I never really relaxed while I was up there, so I quit while I was behind! :-P The people were kind, supportive, appreciative, and that really helped. I told Huey (he was running it) that if I could get the same time slot next week, I may do it again. It's a big fear, and I need to get over it eventually, so I'm going to keep trying to go back until I don't freak out over it. Maybe then I won't freeze up so much when I'm playing bass for a show, either!
Ugh, I'm still uneasy just thinking about it! >.<
11:12 a.m. - 2012-04-30
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