Friday night I finally got to talk to the Gambler.There's not really much to say about it, because the conversation itself was somewhat mundane, but it was so easy talking with her. I can't really describe how it felt, nor how much good it did me. We were smiling/laughing pretty much the entire time (and yes, I can hear her smile, shut up)! Every time we'd get done with a topic and I'd expect a goodbye, something else would come up & we'd keep talking. Even after saying she had to go get some dinner, we talked for probably another 15 minutes - we spent an hour on the phone together! She told me I could call her any time after 8pm or so any night, and I really wish I could, but I'd be too self-conscious. I have no confidence in my ability to hide my thoughts any more.
At one point, we were talking about travel, and I mentioned trying to find a place to take the cycle on vacation this year, and she told me I should plan on coming out to visit her, stay for a few days. We've discussed it before, but nothing ever came of it. This time though, I told her I'd really like to but I was concerned that parking my cycle on the island would cost more than the entirety of the rest of my trip costs, so she said she'd ask around about places I could park inexpensively. Said she'd even ask her door man if he had any "secret" info! lol
I felt so good that night after talking with her, and even the next day, but since then, I've been feeling progressively more... hopeless? No... Disappointed? I don't know. I mean, it's not totally negative, but it's so disappointing to know someone who seems to be so perfect for you, and to have them be sooo unavailable. *sigh* It also makes it hard for anyone else to compare/have a chance with me, I know, but well, such is life I guess.
8:27 p.m. - 2012-04-23
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