I'm going to give the band another couple months to get it together, but if it hasn't happened by then, I'm going to start looking for another band to play with. They've been calling me later and later each Thursday - this week, it was after 2100 again, and I'd almost decided that I wasn't going to go (I did, though). When I got there, I found the standard two problems; the drummer actually made a point of telling me he was really drunk (and that he'd been having issues recently - a lot of depression about his ex-wife remarrying, etc.), but that he'd "be ok to play", and the guitarist had yet again reconfigured his audio equipment, and was having trouble ironing out the kinks (meaning that, wonder of wonders, his shit wasn't working right again). And as is always the case, it took me all of 5-10 minutes to plug in, tune up, and be ready to go. Things are never going to change with them, and regardless of how talented they might be, these things will always hold them back. I told them about having sent the email to the other band we played with, and that I still hadn't heard back from them, but that I'd keep them posted. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the other band was just being nice to me about wanting to play another show with us, but whatever. Can't say I blame them, with the constant issues the guys have.
Viv & I hung out again Wed., had too many drinks, and ended up bringing the "fun" back to my place. We also had yet another conversation about where I stand on things with her (she reassured me that she fully understands and is ok with it), and what she expects, and she told me some things that I both understand, and that bother me. Essentially, it comes down to this for her; no matter who she finds for a relationship in the future, no matter how perfect they are for her and how well they fit/get along, she's always going to be hung up on me, and that's not going to change for her. I told her that knowing this made me not want to hang with her anymore, to let her get on with her life, but she said that it wouldn't matter if we never saw each other again, she'd still feel that way. I don't really know what to do about it. Part of me understands exactly what she means, because that's how I feel about The Gambler, even though we never had a relationship (well, the kind I would like, anyway), but another part of me wants to completely avoid the situation with Viv & not hang out with her anymore. I mean, she's been talking to a couple girls online, one of which she's really clicked with, so I'm hopeful for her to find someone soon (I'll feel a lot better about hanging out with her if she actually had an S.O.).
Been working on my open mic set list the last couple days, and it's coming together, although my voice is giving me some trouble. I haven't exercised my range in a while, and I'm finding that I'm getting vocally tired rather quickly. I'm going to try to practice these songs every night until I play (which isn't going to be this Sunday, but hopefully next). I also learned another song in the last couple days - "King of Nothing" by Seals & Crofts. It's going pretty well, and I might even be able to add it to my set list, as I've been working on that one a lot too. So it looks like the songs that will make the final cut are going to be "Cigarette" (Smithereens), "Something to Say" and "All Things in Time" (Toad the Wet Sprocket), "Rock & Roll Heart" (Eric Clapton), and "Summer Breeze" and possible "King of Nothing"(Seals & Crofts). I might have to add a couple more just in case I'm not feeling confident on a couple of them and want some "backup" songs. I'd really like to get some lyrics down on the three or four songs I've got in progress right now, but I think it's going to have to wait for inspiration to strike. I have the beginnings of lyrics for two or three, but they're nowhere near finished. I do have the one somewhat comedic song, but I'm a little too self-conscious about it to play it for anyone yet! :-P
Oh yeah - haven't heard back from CC yet, and I don't expect to again. I think I'm ok with it finally; I got to at least say something of what I've been wanting to express to her, and it's had the effect I'd hoped, of being a form of closure for me. Of course I'd still love to hear from her, but I don't expect it at all.
Ok, time to get back to work... Hope yous guys are doing well!
p.s. I finally hit 75k miles on the cycle - it happened Wednesday night! I even pulled over to take a picture of the odometer! I'm such a dork, but it was a big milestone and I wanted to record it!
11:20 a.m. - 2012-03-23
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