A few bits of good news, and a big "but"...
1) Got the front brakes done on the truck today, and they're actually functional! I had to take the back ones apart again though, as a) I'd put one spring on backwards on one side, and couldn't adjust them, and b) I couldn't figure out which way to turn the adjuster, so I had to pull the tires & drums off to verify. Still not quite perfect, but there are a couple things I can still try to improve them, and if those don't work, I can always have the shop bleed them out when they fix the oil leaks. Now I have to store the car again, probably tomorrow.
2) My back/neck seems to be getting better finally. Still twinges every so often, but I haven't had much of an issue with it today, and that includes while working on the truck. I've also started to gain my focus back on getting in shape. I haven't started working out again yet, but I'm trying to keep an eye on my meals so I'm not overeating, and I feel a bit better.
3) Got a call from GRJ this afternoon. She wanted to give me an update on things, and to let me know that she's got a date for tomorrow! Some guy she's known for a while, really her style (retro-50's rockabilly kinda vibe) and he's got a great full-time job with a degree. Apparently everyone who knows him says he's a great guy, nothing bad to say at all. I'm pretty excited for her, really - it's about time she had some good luck, and a good, positive influence in her life!
aaaand here's the "but"... while I'm happy for GRJ (and Viv, for that matter) about them meeting someone they dig, I'm feeling pretty shitty about the fact that this doesn't seem to happen for me. I don't know what to do - when I go out (bar-hopping) I don't really meet the kind of women I'm looking for, I don't meet anyone at work, and if I stay home, I won't meet anyone, period. The part that really bothers me though? I know it's all my fault - I'm too "picky" (as I've been told soooo many times by so many people), I'm too quiet/reserved to come across as much of a fun guy, and yeah, a part of me is too scared to take a chance on getting serious again. I'm still kind of pissed off that I hadn't met CC now, rather than back then. Now, I'm stable, I know where I'm going to be, there's no "up in the air" about anything. It'd have been a lot easier to try to make things work with her now... (and no, I still haven't heard back from her. I don't really know why I bother).
Damnit, I want to meet someone; I want to go out; I want to have a few drinks and loosen up; None of these are conducive to putting my life where it needs to be. I could wait for next weekend, when I might be able to hang (and possibly more) with a couple cute girls, but both of them are taken, and both live hours away, and both have issues that make them not really long-term prospects for me. Still, I could really use the companionship.
I'm going to get in the shower now, get cleaned up like I'm heading out on the town tonight, and then see how I feel. Such a toss-up - if I stay in, I'll feel defeated & lonely; if I go out, I'll feel weak for going back on my commitment to myself.
Oh, and as far as fairybones' entry today, I'm fully convinced it applies to everyone but me (not her intent obviously, just my interpretation)...
6:02 p.m. - 2011-11-18
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