Sleep was elusive last night - biggest reason is that, yet again, I went out drinking. Well, I went out because it was supposed to be "bike night" at one of my fave pubs last night. I only intended to have a couple (best intentions, eh?) but ran into a friend who's new band was playing there that night, then I ran into a gal he knows, with whom I've had a couple of good conversations, so I ended up staying out all night.
I got to bed around 3am, woke up once at 4:40a, once at 6:40a, and again at 7:15a. I finally got up around 7:45a, and made some coffee, then came into work after stopping to pick up breakfast. I was thinking, on the way in, that if I were to add up all the sleep I've lost in the last week or two, I'd be missing out on literally 2-3 entire nights of sleep. I have to stop going out, and I have to stop drinking again, at least until I can get my head straight.
CC wrote me back a couple days ago, but I haven't replied yet. I really don't know what to do, whether to just play along that I'm cool with the friends thing, or to just come out & tell her that I'm having a much more difficult time of it than I expected. (I've probably already talked about this, haven't I? That's ok, it's not like anyone's paying any attention to me anymore...)
So, anyway, I decided this morning that I'm not going out to any bars/venues for drinks/shows until I'm actually living in my new place. I may go out for a meal, but that's it. If I get lonely, so be it; if I get to feeling isolated, well, I need to learn how to cope with that, rather than avoid it by drinking it away. No friends, no dates (not that that's very likely), no socializing that requires me to leave the house. I hope this puts me on a better path. I'm supposed to do a 5k at the end of June, and I'm nowhere near ready for it, so I need to get to training for that too, along with actually getting shit done on the new place.
Ugh...
9:33 a.m. - 2011-05-20
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