So now that I'm starting to mellow out again & not feel so despondent, I'm realizing something. I think I've mentioned this before, but whenever I get in a negative mood, negative shit seems to happen in my life. I mentioned the bright spot of getting my old cycle running right? I went down & got the title transferred, registration, and put insurance on it,and took it out for a ride last night. It's not running great, but i got it up to 55 on the stretch heading into town, which impressed me...
The problem? When I stopped, I left it running to check it over, look for leaks, etc. Guess what? I heard something I dread -something that ruined a previous bike I had, that ended up costing me well over $1500. It wasn't obvious, so I kind of let it go/forgot about it at that point. Well, when I got back home, I did the same thing, and I'm pretty sure I'm right - it sounds like I have a bearing going out in the engine (rod bearing possibly, for those who know engines). This, of course, means that I *won't* be riding this bike around, nor will I be repairing it, because it's not worth that much to me. What this means is that, yet again (if it's true), I'm stuck with a piece of shit that I'm not really going to be able to get any money out of. (Fortunately, I haven't put shit into this bike yet, so I haven't really lost much.) It's just really disappointing, because riding it had been the only thing that's gotten me to smile in weeks.
Oh, and another thing - after having the car sit up by the road with a "for sale" sign in it for maybe a week or so, I decided to drive it to work one day a week or two ago. Use the turn signal to get out of my driveway, and it never turns off. I pulled off to the side of the road & tried a couple quick-fix-type things, to no avail, so I went back home & pulled the fuse so it wouldn't keep blinking (it was still blinking with the key off & out of the ignition!). I figured I'd get back to looking at it later, and this morning, I did. Put the fuse back in & was happy to see that it wasn't blinking anymore! Went to get in the car & start it up, and guess what I find? Totally dead battery! Fuck. That means this issue is an electrical short, and those things are practically impossible to track down.
What does that mean? It means that, yet again, I own a piece of shit that is draining money from me, and I can't sell it for anywhere close to even half of what I've invested into it. Hell, for that matter, I couldn't sell it now if I wanted to - nobody, not even mechanics, want to deal with electrical wiring problems.
On top of that, the "good" truck I'm driving now has a hole in the gas tank that's been getting progressively worse since I bought it a few years ago. Ican't put more than 8 gallons in it, or it leaks all over the ground. Hell, I barely had a couple gallons in it this monring, and even the sloshing about of the gas from driving, made it leak - you can smell it every time you get out. Do you know how much it's gonna cost to replace the gas tank, even if I can find a shop willing to do it? (Most won't due to the fire hazard, as many shops have welding equipment they use on a quite regular basis.) New tank for this truck (I think) runs around $300-350, and that doesn't include any labor costs. Now, if I knew I'd be keeping the truck for a while, that wouldn't bother me, but if I get out of this house, I won't need to haul firewood & will have no need for the truck, at which point, I'm going to sell it. Thing is, until I have a stable job, or I decide to buy a house like I'd planned, I can't sell it because I'm definitely going to need it this winter if I stay here.
I'm sick to death of this kind of shit happening. I just want to have a heading, a direction, some form of stability, because I'm dead tired of "treading water". I'm debating now, whether to just bite the bullet & move to the east side, or maybe even start looking for jobs in a brand new area/state where I don't know anyone. Part of me thinks that's a bad idea, because if I think I don't have any friends to hang out with now, what's it going to be like in a new place? I don't exactly make friends that easily, as I'm not terribly outgoing, and even when I am, I tend to come across as unapproachable & intimidating when I'm out by myself.
Soooo frustrated today...
10:21 a.m. - 2010-09-09
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