Ok, so I was sitting here thinking about a couple new developments in my life, and I came up with an analogy for it - first, the analogy, then the explanation...
You know shows that have a male & female lead, and there's sexual tension between them? It's fun to watch; the anticipation, the wondering if/when anything will ever happen. If you're aware of this, you'll also know what happens when the primary characters actually get together - end of show; all the tension's released, there's no interest anymore. Nobody really cares about watching "happy ever after". Sexual tension is what keeps things exciting.
Well, the reason I bring this up is that it directly applies to me, and not in some obscure way either - I thrive on sexual tension. When there's nobody who piques my interest, they're interest in me means nothing; when I'm attracted to someone, but they don't reciprocate, it means nothing. However, last night I met a gal who'sd moving here from Texas. We met on one of the discussion boards I go to - as she posted about moving to my town/area, I offered to help her out, show her around, offer suggestions for locales to look for housing, etc. I didn't know her at all, had no idea what she was like, or even what she looked like, etc. but it didn't really matter, because i wasn't thinking about "dating possiblities", I was just trying to be helpful/friendly.
Well, my point was (and I'll write about the actual meet-up/hang-out later!) she was cute! (After talking with her for even a few minutes, it was obvious she was pretty smart too). And she seemed to be pretty into me. I'm dumb as a stump when it comes to that, so if I picked up on it, there must have been something, right? :-P Anyway, back to my point - I felt really good about things, and about myself, after spending the evening with her, even though it was only a couple hours. The "feeling good" thing is key here. It obviously affected me in some way, because of what happened tonight (which really isn't much, but again, makes me feel good).
It was a beautiful day here for riding, and after my workout/shower/etc. I decided that I really needed to ride, so I got the cycle out to cruise a bit. I didn't plan on going anywhere, was just going to ride and enjoy the perfect temperature/humidity/scent of the evening - it was so damn nice, I would just randomly start smiling as I rode along! So, after a while, I had this urge to ride past the karaoke bar, see what was happening. I just cruised the parking lot & was going to leave, but something made me decide to go in. I grabbed a diet coke & sat down on the very edge of the room to people-watch.
(Good grief, this is growing into a book!?)
So one of my bud's was there, and he was pretty drunk; not fall-down, but filters-off, if you follow. I sat for about 10-15 min. when these two girls come in & sit at the table right in front of me - didn't appear to even give me a second look. So, my buddy, who's across the room at the bar, grabs his two beers ( *rollseyes* ) walks right up, and sits with them! (wish I had the nerve to do that, even drunk, I never could!) After a couple minutes, I get up, shake his hand/say hey, we talk for a minute, and we each go sit back down. 5-10min. later, the cute one tells him i should join them - they invite me to sit, and this is where the difference comes into play. Normally, my natural inclination would be to decline, as I wouldn't want to intrude. However, things had gone so well the night before, I just said to myself "what the hell!?" and did, ended up sitting with him & the two girls for the rest of the night. My buddy was chatting up the cute one, (I should mention they were both attractive, but the one was more my style) and I found myself having nothing to say to the other - she was giving off a weird, negative-ish vibe I couldn't pick up on, but things didn't seem ok with her. Anyway, i ended up flirting a bit with the cutie & at one point, she invited me to come to a "cookout" of some sort after the bar. (I said "maybe" - she also wanted me to sing something, which I did & she loved) The rest of the night, she would dance with my buddy, or sit at the table with me & talk. It was really nice! When the end of the night came, I had to decline going, but I got a big hug (btw, am I the only one who gives full-contact hugs!? Or is that just something women do if they dig you?) and a compliment on how nice I smelled, combined with some very direct eye contact.
The whole thing just made me feel great. Oh, I should mention, my buddy commented twice on how good/thin/in shape I was getting, and that he almost didn't recognize me - made me feel really good too, shows my hard work is paying off! Anyway, I'm kind of excited to see if I run into JS (HA! I actually remembered a girl's name! and no, it's not JS...) on karaoke night again. if so, I'm going to see if there's still some interest, maybe ask her out.
Oh! back to the point I was trying to make earlier - I tend to do very well on the confidence meter when I know someone is attracted to me, but this might cause a problem. "Feast or famine" syndrome... when I'm confident, I tend to end up dating more than one girl at a time. While this works really well for me, I've found in the past that they don't care for it. (I'm always very upfront about whether I'm seeing other people, I never hide it.) So now I'm wondering, should I pay attention to this possible issue, or just "go with the flow" & see what happens?
I'll try to write about CC tomorrow (the girl from Saturday night).
Gah! I have to get to sleep - work in the morning again. YaY!! (It's kind of sick, that I'm "YaY"ing about work, isn't it? In some twisted way?)
Night all...
2:46 a.m. - 2010-05-24
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