So I got it all out of my system last night, I think. I'm trying really, really hard right now to see how this could be a good thing. I mean, the only major reason I'm still in this town was the job, and the house, and not wanting to make a big move with my cat. Cat's gone, job's gone, and I have no qualms about leaving this house for the bank. The company has offered me a reasonable severance package that I have to look over & sign by Jan. 4th - which reminds me, I need to have a lawyer look it over. If I don't sign it, I only get half of what they're offering, so in essence they're paying me double severance to sign it. Why? What are they trying to protect, or what are they asking me to sign away? I'm skeptical, but I've got three weeks to decide. If I can find a job by then, I'll sign it. Hell, I haven't even read it yet...
Anyway, they're offering an outplacement resource, too; help with a resume, etc. and the C.O.O. (the guy who fired me) gave me the name of a recruiter to contact. I'm thinking that since I have a little breathing room with the severance, now is the perfect time to have the recruiter check out a few of the other areas to which I've been wanting to move - the east side, or maybe even down south, like Florida. This could be my chance to get out of here, if I work it right. Hell, I'm even going to write to my friend in Germany to see if he might know of anything for which I could apply.
Still, it hurts that they got rid of me, especially after having worked there so long. I feel like they took advantage of me & threw me away; I was always available for them, every deadline. I'd work weekends, long days, I've worked 80hr weeks, I've even worked some 20+hr days....
Know what? I had gone into all the things I did for them, all the reasons they should have kept me & let the other guy go, but I deleted it, because it doesn't matter anymore. There's no sense dwelling on it at this point, it'll just make me angry. And I *am* angry, mentally. Funny thing is, I don't *feel* angry. Last night, I felt lost; the job was the last stable thing in my life, the one thing I still had to identify me. Now, I'm an unemplyoed loser (in my head) and I have nothing to recommend me, nothing that makes me worth anything to anyone, as relates to dating & relationships. This is going to be a difficult thing for me, I hope I find work soon.
5:57 p.m. - 2009-12-11
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