So I just thought of a great "excuse" for seeing the Joker again (not that I really need one, but...). There's a friend coming into town the weekend of the 18th, from across the pond, and he'll be attending a group get-together with a bunch of mutual online friends. I was thinking of asking her to go with me that day (weekend?). It's funny - I really wanted to go back over to see her this weekend, but 1) I have other things to do around here, and 2) I don't want to seem over-anxious. I go through these really weird phases - either I'm "obsessing" over someone, or I completely forget about them for a while. Usually, it's pretty easy, because if I know there's no chance of anything developing, I can put it out of my mind, unless/until I see that person again, which in my case, can be months. Out of sight, out of mind really applies to me in these instances. The problem lies in the fact that, if I can see any kind of possible connection happening, I tend to focus on it too much, which makes me overthink things and dwell on them.
Slight drift of topic - I wonder if my internal desire for tact & subtlety (e.i. not be an obvious buffoon) is what throws people off? I think that, in general, most people have no idea if I really like them or not - I'm always friendly, but I think I come across as a bit distant in my real-life interactions, and I wonder if that puts people off. That brings up another thought - if I'm interested in someone, is being a bit "aloof" a good thing? I mean, like with the Joker, I'm always fairly outgoing, engaging, even a little sarcastic & teasing (which is fun for both of us!) but I'm also really laid-back, and there are times when I sort of withdraw, become a bit quiet. I wonder if that is a good thing or not? In a way, I can see it being intriguing, "mysterious" if you will, yet I can also see it being off-putting, maybe coming across as even a bit rude. I'll have to think on this a bit more... Shit, I'm probably just overthinking again...
Practice went fairly well last night, although we only ran through maybe four or five songs - we had a short night, since an old classmate came to visit from out-of-state, and we stopped early so the guys could go to a bonfire they were having at his sister's place. This was fine with me, as it meant I got home at a decent time for a change. I had trouble sleeping again last night, though, and had to reset the alarm 3 separate times this morning (my snooze function only runs three times, once every five minutes - after that, I have to reset it). I simply haven't been able to drag myself out of bed this week. My body aches, I'm uncomfortable, but I'm still sleepy. I actually was in bed for over eight hours last night, which is a first for me in weeks. I hope I catch up soon. I should probably stop drinking so much coffee during the day, now that I think about it; two big cups in the morning, one in the afternoon (with the intent of keep me going for my evening workout). Last night, I also had an energy drink (sugar-free, of course) at practice, but that was a good two - three hours before I went to bed. I guess it's time to work on eliminating caffeine again...
Well, I'm going to write her this weekend, just to say hi & see what's going on, (and maybe ask about next weekend) and then I'm going to try to not think about her at all the entire next week. She's very distracting, and it's starting to affect my job!
Gotta run!
1:22 p.m. - 2009-07-10
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