Wow, lots to write about - where to start!? I think I'll save the best/most interesting for last...
I called Eileen last Friday, to see if she'd gotten any of this product in that I've been waiting on - she hadn't, but said that she had some of it that she was willing to just let me have, and I should stop over to pick it up. I met her at her house & hung out with her & the kid for a bit & just caught up on things. Her man got home shortly thereafter & we all hung out & talked a bit. I told them about my weekend plans, and the reason I wanted this stuff (wanting to look good for this girl I have a crush on). He started joking about it, saying it was gonna be like that hair commercial, with me getting off the bike, taking off my helmet & whipping my hair all around! (I've got really long hair & this stuff is a curl enhancer, hence the joke) The images it conjured up were funnier than shit! Have you ever seen that commercial? There actually is one with a biker doing exactly that - it's a riot!
Anyway, they're having a get-together this coming weekend, and have invited me over to hang with them & their friends. It should be an ok time, aside from the fact that 1) she's one of my crushes, and 2) again, there won't be any single gals there. Story of my life - all of my lady-friends are taken, and so are all of *their* friends. Man, it's so hard to meet women anymore! So anyway, that's this weekend's agenda...
I'm following the advice of the realtors, and taking my cash out of the bank over the next week or two, just in case we can do something with the house in a couple months. If I end up doing the "deed in lieu", I don't want any cash sitting in the bank for them to possibly claim. And now, since I'm not going to buy windows & such for the house, I can take that money & start fixing up my other vehicles & getting them running/saleable. (Speaking of that, I still have to put the "for sale" sign in the car... damnit!)
I think I mentioned before about my looking at a previous work order for my cycle, and seeing that the mileage was at roughly 59k on June 10th, on a previous trip to the shop. When I got home from the fireworks last night (I rode out to the beach by myself to watch them again - it's sort of become a welcome, yet sad, tradition with me), I noticed that the odometer is sitting at approximately 61,700 miles. That means in less than 2 months, I've put almost 3000 miles on, and I haven't even left the state! Not too bad, if I do say so myself!
Most of that mileage is partly due to my willingness to travel out to see one of my crushes (the only one who's even semi-single). I have family in that area as well, and have visited them a few times too. Although I've only seen her twice this summer, she's been the main reason I've wanted to travel out there. I don't think I've talked about her in here yet (if I have, I'll likely go back & ensure that I've removed names) so I'm going to refer to her as "the joker" (yes, there's a good reason, and no, it doesn't have anything to do with being a comedian).
So it was her b-day this weekend, and I rode over to hang with her & her friends. I packed the bike up with a tent, sleeping bag, a thin little air mat, and two camp chairs, along with my travel bag for my clothes. Yes, this means drunken camping! I won't go into a lot of details, because it would take too long, and be terribly dull to read. She's got a lot of really cool friends, but damn, I've never seen a group of people drink & smoke so much in my life! (and I don't mean just cigarettes, either!) :-P Overall, I had a pretty good time, but quite often felt out-of-place, like I really didn't belong there. Maybe it was just "outsider" syndrome!? I don't know... I was really happy, the few times I got to talk with her that night, but she was hanging out with so many different people all night, that I didn't get many chances.
I guess that's one of the weird things with her - I keep thinking I'm getting mixed signals (of course, I can't read women, in general, for shit). She's always excited to have me come out, and I always get these great, (and I mean reaaaaally nice!) lingering full-contact hugs, and yet, she rarely makes eye contact. When she does, it's always from a safe distance. It's almost like we're both afraid of/avoiding being too close because we're both nervous and shy about our interest. At least, that's how I see it - my problem is, am I projecting that onto her, is she just not interested? She posted a quizlet-thing on her facespace page that contained clues that seemed to point to being shy, but also hinted at interest in me, and no desire to get into a serious relationship (which would be ideal for me!). Again, the problem is that her responses could have meant anything, not just what I'm interpreting. I know people would say, "Just speak up!" or some such, but as is true to my nature, I don't really want to mess things up and make it all weird, if she's not interested, and then not be able to hang out anymore. On the other hand, I'm not sure that we would hang out much, if there wasn't some kind of chemistry/physical attraction, because we're hours apart, and we really don't have that much in common.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that my interest is almost purely physical (*almost*, I said...). It's all I can do to keep my eyes off her when she's around. I had to go out of my way at the party to talk to other people & not look around for her constantly. That may be one of the problems, actually - maybe it's making me play it too cool, for fear of being creepily obvious!? Anyway, I can't really get her off my mind. All of these thoughts about the things I want to do to/with her make it really difficult to focus on work!! lol
She also brought up, again, the thought of coming out my way & staying the weekend with me. She's stayed once before, when I was seeing someone, and we all had a great time, even though we didn't do much. You know, thinking back on all the times we've hung out, even when we both had someone (and were hanging out as couples), I think we've been dancing around our attraction for each other for quite a while! But damnit! How can I know? GAH! I'm so bad at this!! lol
Fuck it - I'm not going to dwell any further on it until she contacts me again. I've been the one to talk about coming out there the last few times, so this time she can put the effort in! I might send an occasional "Hi!", but that's it. I hope I can stick with this - I hate to admit it, but I want her... bad.
3:40 p.m. - 2009-07-06
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