Entry 2 for today - go back one for the Weekend, Part 2...
I was just noticing, as I rode out to pick up some lunch, that the thought of just giving the house back to the bank, walking away from it, makes me so much more positive & hopeful for the future. My mind started wandering, making all sorts of new plans. Everything (for a few minutes) felt new, and exciting, and full of possibilities. Of course, I'm not therer yet, but it tells me that maybe I need to actually pursue it. I'm mentally ready to "give up" on it - I've been responsible all of my adult life. I've never missed a payment on anything (although I've been late plenty). I've always paid off every loan/credit card I've ever had. This house was the biggest mistake, purchase-wise, of my adult life. It didn't help that we were 1st-time homebuyers, and got suckered into a grossly misrepresented house. I probably could have (and should have) sued, but i didn't realize the extent of my fucked-over-ness until a few years into it, and I figured by then, there was nothing I could do about it.
I've got a good, secure job, I make good money, even after the pay cut we took a few months back, and I'm a responsible person. I just think the only way out of this situation, aside from an act of god destroying the place, is for me to just walk away from it. It would cost literally tens of thousands of dollars to get the place back to respectable living/saleable shape, and even then, it has issues that make it less than desireable. What I want to do, what I picture in my mind, is telling the bank something like, "Look, I'm done throwing money away on a house from which I'll never recover my investment. I'm not going to do it anymore, so you can either take the title as payment in full for the place, or you can spend thousands of dollars going through the entire foreclosure process to arrive at the same end result."
I need to find out if they can go after any of my savings, garnish wages, etc, if I do that, though. If not, then I just need to find someone to help guide me through the process, a realtor, banking person, or some such...
The more I think about it, the more ready I am to do it. It's the only thing that makes financial sense to me anymore. Time for some phone calls...
2:02 p.m. - 2009-06-23
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