god, i really feel the need to talk to someone right now, about anything - i just feel like i need interaction on some level. i keep going online looking for input, something to engage my mind. i also feel like i'm slowly becoming emotionally unstable again, sadness-wise, and i don't feel that there's anything i can do about it. i could talk about it, but all that's really doing is dwelling on it. i could ignore it, but then it just pops up late at night, either when i'm overly tired, or when i've had a few drinks, or like today, while i'm at work, for no apparent reason. i mean, it's not the same old desperate futility, but it does touch on futility a bit. or maybe it's just a longing to connect with someone on a deep level, and have it reciprocated.
or maybe i'm just coming down with something...
i missed a workout monday, and had a chiropractic adjustment last night, so i skipped again. i really need to workout tonight, but am nervous about making myself feel worse. ah, fuck it, i need to do it anyway.
you know, sometimes i wonder why i even bother to write - i usually just decide shit on my own anyway, and very rarely do i ever go back & re-read previous posts. what a waste of time!
gah! i suck today... (as opposed to...!?)
5:01 p.m. - 2009-03-04
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
elusive-you
lust-
comebacktome
ahopeinhell
silver4
kelsi
stepfordtart