Ran across this article this morning, and realized that, aside from 'perfectionism', 'Sarcasm as a Defense Mechanism', and 'Overcompensating in Relationships', every other thing in the list applies to me (and the 'overcompensation' used to).
Not that I wasn't loved, but I think that I *felt* I wasn't, if that makes any sense? It's interesting to me that, although I mostly like who I am right now, I sometimes wonder how much different I would be as a person, had I been adopted into a socially well-adjusted family, and not the clusterfuck of emotionally disabled parents I ended up with. Would I be happy now? Would I be better off financially? Would I have actually finished college, gotten a better career, been more outgoing/confident? Would I be in a loving, mutually supportive/beneficial relationship? Or would I still have ended up the way I am, due to ASD-type issues? Or (speaking of that) might I have been diagnosed when I was young and gotten the help I needed, rather than floundering through school & social life at great disadvantage?
I'm not really complaining, just wondering. My life isn't bad by any means, but still, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, unless I really disliked them. Spending my entire adolescent and adult life dealing with all of the issues listed in the above article, is not my idea of a 'good life', it's simply existing.
5:06 p.m. - 2024-03-02
Recent entries:
Saturday date. - 2024-03-22
Interactions with ma. - 2024-03-22
Much to write, no time. - 2024-03-21
Eventually. - 2024-03-18
Another validating article. - 2024-03-16
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