1) I'm deleting Viv & CC's contact info today. I've been trying to be ok with just moving them to my 'do not contact' list, but they're still occupying mental space that way, because I keep hoping they'll change & contact me. By deleting them, I'm telling myself that they won't change, and it's over, to move on. At least, that's what I hope will happen. I'm not deleting GRJ's info, because I think I've actually come to terms with our infrequent contact & am ok with it.
2) Had a 2nd 'in-person' date with the SB gal from the dating site. She drove up here this time & we met at the Well. I took her there because they have a lot of vegan options & I thought it would be nice/helpful. She's apparently on the 'wh0le 3o' diet now though, and she couldn't have anything on the entire menu. A bit frustrating, but fine. She had to cut things short after maybe an hour or so, saying she was getting a migraine again (she has a history of them), so we left shortly thereafter. Part of me feels like the headache was just an excuse, but that could just be my insecurity. Anyway, without getting into more detail, I'm having trouble seeing a connection with her. At times I can see something, but others? Not a bit. We also seem to have different connection styles (she needs there to be 'momentum' as she put it, and I tend to take things slowly, as I told her), which is starting to feel a bit incompatible. I did write to another gal on the site, who actually lives in my town, and about whom I'm more positive/interested, so we'll see how that goes. I'm not writing off SB gal yet, but it seems to be heading that way. *sigh*
3) Managed to get the Honda out for a ride yesterday. Was a pretty nice day for January, overcast, but in the low 40sF. I was out for maybe 30 minutes (went over 20 miles, anyway)? Unfortunately, I was a bit overzealous, as I took my temp when I got home & I was almost hypothermic (I looked it up & it starts at about 95°F, my temp was 95.4). Obviously turned the sauna on when I got back, and that really helped, because I was unable to warm myself up during the hour I had to wait for it. Should probably be a little more attentive in the future.
4) I'm starting to feel isolated & disconnected from everyone again, and a little of the hopelessness has returned. Some of it obviously stemming from the SB gal date, but also, from my lack of having any friends I can hang out with. I have one really good online friend, but even that is feeling... faded? I mean, it's to be expected, life happens & things change & that's as it should be, but it's still unpleasant/disappointing. I still think I just don't know how to make/maintain friendships & their fading over time is my 'fault', so to speak.
5) My gym membership is supposed to start next weekend (well, Feb 1st) - maybe that will help with the friends issue above? I'm not hopeful, but still, I'll give it a try.
7:55 a.m. - 2024-01-28
Recent entries:
Slackersezwut? - 2024-02-05
New (recent) PR - 2024-02-03
List of current anxieties - 2024-02-02
Two more deletions. - 2024-02-01
Out with the old. - 2024-01-30
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email
Random
others:
strawberrri
narcissa
alethia
jimbostaxi
simeons-twin
bantenhut
elusive-you
warpednormal
silver4
comebacktome
linguafranca
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
life-my-way
annanotbob2
fairybones
ahopeinhell
swordfern
misfitstray
kelsi
stepfordtart