I accomplished a few things today, and for about an hour, I felt fairly ok about myself. I decided to take the cycle out for a ride, because I've been missing it, and the weather was supposed to be clear for a bit.
It felt good to be out riding again, until I noticed that everything seemed to be closed. Then I remembered, it's actually a holiday today. That started me back into a less than optimistic mood. Also, the rain that I tried to avoid later in the evening came about two hours early - it wasn't a lot, but at 40°F, it wasn't exactly fun either.
The evening has been spent watching random shows online, while trying to avoid thinking about how alone I feel. I'm entirely the cause of that solitude, because my reaction to the negativity I feel is to withdraw from life, so I really can't complain.
Alone is my natural state. I guess it needs to be, for me to be at all useful to anyone in the future. I just need to accept it as part of my purpose in this life, even if I don't want it.
8:29 p.m. - 2022-11-24
Recent entries:
People in this town disgust me, - 2022-12-06
On second though. - 2022-12-01
Logic vs. Fear - 2022-11-26
Misfit. - 2022-11-25
Covid Anxiety Syndrome? - 2022-11-25
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