I had two separate thought so far today that I wanted to write about, but I think I'll split them into two entries - here's the 2nd.
I used to think I was grateful for my past, what I've been through, because it made me who I am today, and I like who I am. I think I was wrong.
I don't know if it's as a result of my upbringing, life experiences, or being neuro-atypical, but I actually don't like who I am now. I don't like not having the ability to make and keep friends. I don't like being the kind of person who is unable to approach a woman I find attractive & ask her out, or even just try to get to know her. I don't like that I'm willing to accept being alone for the rest of my life because I'm still unable to change these things about myself, even after all these years.
There are things about myself that I do like, but they don't seem to come close to balancing the scale. I do realize that even if I could go back, there's nothing I could do to try to change things - I never had that capacity in life. I do wish that certain events in my life had gone differently, but they didn't, and now I'm stuck with who I am, and that's really discouraging today.
9:45 a.m. - 2020-08-02
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
linguafranca
bantenhut
dangerspouse
loveherwell
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
comebacktome
elusive-you
lust-
silver4
kelsi
ahopeinhell
stepfordtart