I had two separate thought so far today that I wanted to write about, but I think I'll split them into two entries - here's the 1st.
Ok, so this sort of relates to the entry I deleted yesterday...
How can I know whether I should continue to reach out to someone when I don't hear from them in months? How can I tell whether I'm making a fool of myself by trying to stay in touch with someone who obviously is putting no effort into doing the same? How can I know whether their lack of communication is simple laziness/preoccupation, or their attempt at avoidance, hoping I'll take the hint and leave them alone?
Every time I've tried to reconnect with others in the past, I've always gotten the same reply/excuse of "I've been really busy". Is that a brush-off? Am I too dense to read between the lines that it probably means "I'm too busy for you"?
I think this way every time I think about contacting someone I haven't talked to or seen in a long time, and every time I think to myself, "Don't be a pest. If you were important to them, they'd be in touch.". Just like when I stopped contacting my "best friend" in high school - I spent all of my middle- and high-school years being the one to initiate contact, thinking that he wanted to hang out with me. It really stung to realize that I was simply an intrusion he tolerated.
I don't want to be that person again.
9:42 a.m. - 2020-08-02
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