so, i just got done with a really long entry, but i re-read it, and i sound like a fucking loser, so i deleted it, just like yesterday's entry...
you know, it's funny - even when i feel good, and i'm open to meeting someone, nothing happens. i'm tired. why is it that i choose to entertain the possibility that i might someday be happy? i know better. at least, i've been shown better, even if a tiny part of me still doesn't believe it.
i want to believe, i want to hope, but i don't know why i bother. which should i believe? the phantom hope? or the constantly proven facts?
as of right now, the "facts" are winning. i'm so sad, i almost wish i wouldn't wake up. i know that's a stupid thing to think, but it's an honest, "right at this moment" feeling. i'll be surprised if i haven't deleted this by morning. if i don't, you'll know that my sadness has lingered into the day, and i'll be in need of positive vibes, not that i really think they'll help anymore.
i have so much to give - why am i still alone? i guess that will be the next thing to ponder, for me.
goodnight - maybe i'll see yous in the morning...
2:29 a.m. - 2009-10-04
My profile
Archives
Notes
Email Me!
Random
others:
loveherwell
dangerspouse
catsoul
alethia
annanotbob2
life-my-way
fairybones
misfitstray
swordfern
warpednormal
elusive-you
lust-
comebacktome
ahopeinhell
silver4
kelsi
stepfordtart